The Life and Times of a Dead Man - Episode 19 - WE ARE LEAVING!

The companions watched as Hendra climbed the ladder into the attic. It was pitch black, so she pulled out her ever-burning torch rock. In the attic, heavy drapes covered a large window, and dust coated the trunks and other items including the toys that covered the floor. As Hendra pushed back the drapes, she heard a voice behind her say, "Hello, want to play?" When she turned around, she saw a small humanoid skeleton dressed in rags.

Hendra asked the skeleton for her name, and the skeleton introduced herself as Naboomi. She didn't know how long she had been there. Hendra ran downstairs to tell the others about the child. The companions suggested that Tweetie Bear investigate the skeletal child, but Dol refused. Sabrina climbed the ladder instead.

Sabrina introduced herself as Allie, and Naboomi said she was up there because her mother had put her there. Naboomi was going to teach Sabrina the rules of the game and indicated that Shadow wasn't good at playing the game and told Sabrina he was behind her. The attic was filled with the sounds of children, and Sabrina felt ill immediately after hearing the children's screams. Naboomi reached out for Sabrina, but Sabrina yelled, "Bad touch. Bad touch."

Tweetie Bear laid Dol on the couch and climbed up the stairs. As he did this, Dol cast an enlarge spell on him. A shadow appeared and stroked Sabrina, causing her to feel weakened. Audrey Rose drank her mutagen and climbed up the stairs. Sabrina yelled that she couldn't hurt them and ran away.

Hendra muttered, "Oh for god's sake," and readied an action. Naboomi tried to bite Tweetie Bear, and Tweetie Bear became fatigued. Zita continued readying an action. Tweetie Bear shrank and disappeared. The shadow attacked Audrey Rose and drew out her strength. Audrey Rose withdrew back downstairs.

Sabrina ran out of the house and lit a torch. Bosley followed Sabrina out of the house. Zita high-tailed it out, and Dol worked with Tweetie Bear to get outside. Audrey Rose followed suit. Hendra guided Sabrina to specific points of the house to light them up, but nothing happened. She tried to light up the couch, but it didn't work, and when she threw a flask of oil, it blew out.

The group had a lengthy conversation on whether to stay or go, and they decided to go back home with the graduate students. The group retraced its steps. It rained that entire night as they made camp, and they stayed under the tree line the next day and avoided most of the rain. During Audrey Rose's watch that night, she saw something flowing on the outskirts of the camp. About twenty small bipedal lizard creatures were running around the camp. The next day it was cloudy with no rain, and they eventually found themselves back on the road between Sharn and Wroat. They eventually flagged down a coach heading back to Sharn,

The adventurers stopped at a House Jurasco clinic to get Hendra restored to full strength. The companions then headed back to the university and tracked down Professor Rightsen. Sabrina explained the situation, but they ended up talking in circles. Professor Rightsen still wanted to know what happened to the professor and was disappointed that the companions didn't know and could only speculate why the professor was selling graduate students.

Afterward, they each went their separate ways to indulge in their various interests. Bosley visited Vlodex, a bugbear bartender, to share the story of the professor selling graduate students. Zita and Audrey Rose went to a luxurious spa to pamper themselves with various treatments, while Dol enjoyed a night out in the theater district.

The vigilante searched for information on Black Sugar, but could not uncover new information.

Later, Sabrina returned to the party's home, where she was greeted by the "new" butler, Barnsworth, who had prepared a delicious breakfast for everyone. The adventurers were pleased with the food.

Dol asked if anyone had any knowledge of the underground theater circuit. Hendra had extensive knowledge of it and shared their experience. Charlie gathered input from everyone on the events at the house of the hag. They all had dinner and got a good night's sleep. However, the next morning, they discovered that Hendra was nowhere to be found.

The Life and Times of a Dead Man - Episode 18 - She was on my side?!?!

Audrey Rose enters the room and sees a fireplace moving toward Sabrina. She throws a shock bomb at it. Zita loads her crossbow. Hendra closes in and slashes her long sword at the fireplace. Tweetie Bear crosses the room and chips away at the fireplace. Sabrina stares intently at the fireplace, and Bosley casts acid splash. The fireplace pursues Sabrina and bites her.

The companions determine that this is a large animated object. Audrey Rose shocks it with a bomb. Zita fires the crossbow and buries a bolt into the wall. Hendra also attempts to hit it but misses. Tweetie Bear scratches it. Dol moves towards Sabrina and heals her with the wand. Sabrina attempts to heal the fireplace and then steps away from it. Bosley casts another acid spell. The fireplace continues pursuing Sabrina and bites her. 

Audrey Rose throws another bomb. Zita rushes to a flank position with the intent of double daggering it, but she misses. Hendra charges in and slashes the construct. Tweetie Bear enlarges; Sabrina goes into full defense mode, and Bosely casts more acid splash. 

Audrey Rose throws bottled lightning and then watches as Zita performs a beautiful double dagger attack that kills the construct. 

Various members of the party notice that a previously closed door is now open. Sabrina goes outside and notices tiny footprints. 

Dol opens one of the inside doors. She finds a simple bedroom with a queen size bed. The party works its way around the house opening doors that lead to bedrooms and bathrooms. Tweetie Bear opens a door that shows endless dark stairs going down. The group lines up and heads downstairs. Sabrina and Dol light up torches, and Hendra pulls out an everlasting stone. Dol warns the group that this area may be shadow planed. She pulls a garter on Tweetie Bear and lights it up with a light cantrip. One of the shadows along the wall slips out of the wall ready to attack. 

Zita neither hears nor sees the shadow. The shadow caresses Dol, and he drops. Tweetie Bear blinks out of existence. Audrey Rose yells, “What the hell just happened?” Sabrina yells, “Run!” A shadow appears next to Hendra and hisses, “We are powerful.” It strokes Hendra, and she suddenly feels weaker. Bosley casts Ray of Frost on the shadow. Audrey Rose throws a bomb at the shadow holding up the line. Zita prepares an attack. The shadow closes in, and she stabs at it. “Ow, that stung,” hisses the shadow. It strokes Zita. The other shadow attempts to stroke Hendra again but misses. Hendra retaliates by slashing at it. Sabrina stares at the creature and attempts to Forbid Action on it but nothing happens. Bosley activates his boots and rolls behind the shadow. He stabs it from behind with Ray of Frost cold damage and disintegrates it. Audrey Rose disintegrates the shadow with an explosion of fire. She grabs Dol’s body and the group retreats. 

Dol awakens on a park bench. Given the colorlessness of the place, she thinks she’s in Dolor, which is where souls go when they die. Tweetie-Bear sits next to her, apologizing over and over again. She suspects that Tweetie-Bear’s connection to Dol is what allowed her to bypass the line. Celestial sigils appear that say, “Relax. The worst has happened.” Dol eventually gets bored and starts singing about bottles of beer on the wall. A voice behind Dol interrupts her. A ten-foot-tall figure dressed in black plate armor with the head of a vulture is standing behind Dol. This is a type of fiend called a Purroloth; a creature associated with violence. He asks if Dol would like to go back. Dol attempts to negotiate. He holds out his hand and shows a collection of very small cubes. "You can go back for a very small favor," it says, pouring the cubes into Dol’s hands. Dol awakens with a scream and is still very weak. Audrey Rose checks her out and determines that they've been drained of strength and need higher levels of healing magic. 

Audrey Rose insists that Dol had no pulse. The group doesn’t believe her. 

Zita proposes the group go to the other shed and knock on the door. They discuss whether to negotiate with her or kill her. 

The adventurers make their way to the chicken house. Zita finds no traps on the door. There are chickens inside. Zita makes her way to the outhouse. The outhouse looks brand new and has the smell of new lumber. Zita opens the door. The bathroom is unoccupied. Zita lifts the seat and there’s no hole. She calls Audrey Rose over to help her investigate. Audrey Rose sees a brass plaque at the top that says Crowner and Company Lab. She thinks it’s a Sharn-based company. She lifts the seat and finds a hole with a ladder. Audrey Rose looks down and sees that the ladder ends at twenty feet. 

Hendra climbs down to investigate. The room is a ten-foot by ten-foot holding cell. There are two humanoids chained to the wall. They are Tamaso and Jardy, the graduate students from Sharn. They came here with the professor who sold them to the witch. Hendra brings them back up. Audrey Rose looks them over; they are malnourished, so she feeds them and provides them with water. They’ve been down there for a bit. They know nothing about the professor and where she’s gone. 

Dol and Sabrina want to set up an ambush for the witch. Zita and Audrey Rose want to take the graduate students back to the school. 

The group decides to camp out near the outhouse. They’re going to leave the students and Dol in the secret room below the "outhouse". 

During Audrey Rose’s watch, everything goes quiet in the forest. She feels like someone is watching her. She gently nudges Hendra awake and tells her that someone is watching her. Hendra comes awake and listens intently. She turns quickly to her right and for a split second, she sees a small figure wearing tattered clothes and with a long grey beard and hair. The rest of the night goes uninterrupted. 

The next morning the group searches the house. They don’t find anything of interest. In the ceiling, there is another trapped door. Bosley shifts the couch over, and Zita climbs up and checks for traps. She opens the door and unfolds a ladder. 

Burma-shave and Cthulu

During a recent Trail of Cthulu game, I asked ChatGPT to write a "Burma-shave style poem about Cthulu" it didn't disappoint!

In the depths of the sea,
Lies a creature so scary,
Cthulhu is his name,
Beneath the waves he does tarry.

His tentacles stretch wide,
With eyes that shine like fire,
A monstrous being indeed,
Whose presence all do admire.

But if you see him rise,
It's best to run and hide,
For madness he'll bring,
And your soul he'll try to pry.

So beware of the call,
From the dark and the deep,
For Cthulhu waits there,
In his eternal sleep.

Burma Shave

The Life and Times of a Dead Man - Episode 17 - Caern wights and fletchlings

As morning arrives, Audrey Rose brews an antitoxin. The companions make their way down the path. At midday, they arrive at an overgrowth.  Three caern wights emerge as they enter the clearing. The head caern wight bangs his shield and yells in goblin, “Halt. Go no further.” The foul undead informs the adventurers that this is the resting place of a hobgoblin warrior and that anyone who approaches will die. 

Sabrina tries to negotiate with the creatures, but lead caern wight responds, “Come any closer and we will attack.” Sabrina tries to negotiate further. 

Hendra takes a step forward and the caern wights move to intercept. Tweetie-Bear flies over the caern wight's head and grabs it. Bosley casts burning hands. Audrey Rose throws a bomb at one, lighting it up. The head caern wight takes a swipe at Hendra. Hendra feels the wound go cold, and everything goes grey as she feels weakened. The next caern wight steps forward and slashes at Bosley; he too weakens. The last caern wight attacks Sabrina and misses. Zita twirls her way through her allies and slashes at the caern wight missing it. Sabrina casts glitterdust upon the undead. Dol casts haste on Tweetie Bear, Zita, Bosely, and Hendra. Bosley slashes at a caern wight. All three caern wight swing and miss. Tweetie-Bear rears up and tears the caern wight apart. Zita flanks Bosley. Sabrina encourages the group, and Hendra closes to attack, slicing the creature through the ribcage to the mouth. Tweetie-Bear slashes at the last caern wight. Bosley slashes and misses. Audrey Rose throws a bomb at it. The angry caern wight attacks Zita, weakening her. Zita screams, “No not again!” and flees. Sabrina forbids her from running, so she stops. Hendra beheads the last caern wight. As calm settles, the companions hear voices in their minds saying, “Thank you.” 

Sabrina walks into the structure. She hears a click but nothing happens. Sabrina and Zita also enter and find an assortment of brassieres, rings, and amulets. They loot the caern wights and get three breastplates of hobgoblin manufacture and three long swords. 

The adventurers continue along the game trail. Ahead they hear something running very quickly to their left. A big black panther lands on the trail and then runs off. The companions continue down the trail. It’s almost sunset when they hear voices coming down the trail. The group comes out in a larger clearing. They see a large stone hut. People are working outside the house. There is a hen house with legs. Sabrina yells, “Hey you. Where’s the hag that runs this house?” The woman in the garden brushes herself off and glares at Sabrina. Sabrina convinces them to lead the adventurers inside. 

The door slams shut, two windows open, and a volley of arrows is fired. Audrey Rose runs towards the door of the house and casts fox’s cunning. Bosley follows after Audrey Rose and casts acid splash, but the man slams the door in his face. Zita rushes forward and loads her crossbow. Dol casts Wind Wall on the windows. Tweetie-Bear runs up to the door. 

Bosley steps up to the door and opens it for the party. He immediately encounters a fletchling Audrey Rose throws a shock bomb at the creature and dazzles her. Zita enters the room and is caught by two other creatures that incapacitate her. Sabrina lights them up with glitterdust. Dol runs forward and heals Zita. Hendra rushes in with her sword drawn and attacks with a brutal slash. Another fletchling enters the room and shoots at Hendra. 

Bosley slashes through the door and badly hurts the creature’s arm. Frozen blood drops sail across the air. Audrey Rose throws a bomb and takes out two of the fletchlings. Zita attempts to do a crutch shot but unfortunately misses. Sabrina casts hideous laughter; the woman falls over laughing. Sabrina starts kicking the downed woman. Tweetie-Bear rushes into the room and attacks. Audrey Rose throws a bomb into the room, but it misses and bounces around. Zita tries to attack but misses. Dol trips the fletchling and Tweetie-Bear closes in and finishes it off. Hendra finishes off the remaining fletchling.

Sabrina starts messing with the rug and the fireplace starts talking. “Who are you? Why are you here?” Sabrina gets smart with the fireplace. “I am the guardian of this place. My mistress will not be disturbed.” Sabrina thinks the voice is coming ten feet from the fireplace. She steps forward and gets hit by fire. Sabrina slashes into the air near the fireplace and misses. The fireplace starts to move toward Sabrina.  

The Life and Times of a Dead Man - Episode 16 - On the Road

Zita sends a note to Ceseli letting her know she will be gone for about two weeks. The adventurers hit the Orien road. After traveling for a while, they arrive at the forest. Hendra takes out the map and leads the group further into the forest. The group travels for hours. They are covered in sweat and bugs.

A monkey steals Hendra’s bag of caltrops, and a foot-long dragonfly alights on Audrey Rose’s head. Sabrina throws a dagger at it. It’s a miserable journey, but the companions plod ahead.

It’s raining the next morning. Audrey Rose sees a branch full of Scarlet Crested Parrots who keep saying hello to her. She’s seriously tempted to bring one home but realizes they would require upkeep while traveling. While she watches one of the parrots suddenly disappears. It’s being reeled in by a large blue and red carapace.

The next day the group moves faster. They manage to put two days of travel into one day. Despite the continued rain, the adventurers find a dry spot to camp. During their nightly watches, the adventurers notice a colony of bats watching. They are Brelish Mobats. The adventurers have their best night of sleep.

The next day there is a close call with a falling tree branch, and Hendra chases off a bunch of monkeys from the packs. The rain finally lets out. Sabrina keeps watch and tries to keep the fire going when she notices a large lizard with great claws and teeth attacking a sleeping Hendra. Sabrina casts glitterdust on it. The lizard glows a bright green and grabs Hendra. Hendra stays asleep during the attack but hollers that she doesn’t want to go to school. Audrey Rose awakens and throws a frost bomb at the creature. Zita hears a loud cracking sound and wakes up. She gets into position to attack the creature. The lizard goes after Sabrina. It attempts to bite her and misses, but it does claw her across the arm.

Hendra draws her sword and attacks the lizard. Audrey Rose throws a shock bomb and dazzles the creature. Sabrina casts glitterdust again, but to no effect. Zita flanks Hendra and double-daggers the lizard. It rears around and attacks Zita upside the head. Dol convinces the wand to let her heal Hendra. Meanwhile, Audrey Rose throws a bomb into the lizard’s mouth, finishing it off. Hendra identifies the nasty, carnivorous creature as a Blade Tooth. Sabrina skins it and takes a tooth. She suspects it is a particularly old specimen. While skinning the lizard, Sabrina sees a shiny metal. When she digs it out, she finds a magical stiletto with conjuration magic. When you say the words “Kibym Kilf” it starts a fire. Sabrina gives the weapon to Zita.

The following day Zita stealthily makes her way through the rainforest when the group hears voices in the distance. The group seems to have come across two arguing red caps. They are three feet tall, have long dirty beards, and carry scythes. One of them steps forward and attacks Hendra, knocking her unconscious. Zita double daggers one of them, and Sabrina steps in front of it and casts glitterdust. Audrey Rose drinks her mutagen. Dol sends in Tweetie-Bear and backs away from the redcaps.

One red cap swings at Sabrina and misses. The other redcap gracefully dances across the greased area and goes to attack Sabrina but also misses. Sabrina casts Hideous Laughter on one of the redcaps. It falls over laughing. Zita double daggers the laughing one. Audrey Rose throws a shock bomb on the one rolling on the ground. Tweetie Bear claws the laughing one through the eyes and kills it. Dol heals Hendra back from unconsciousness.

The other redcap misses Sabrina again. Hendra stands up and downs a healing potion. Sabrina casts Hideous Laughter on the other redcap, but he makes his save. Zita double-daggers the monster. Audrey Rose’s bomb goes slightly off course but still does splash damage to the redcap. Dol increases Tweetie-Bears size. The redcap swings at Sabrina and misses. Hendra beheads the last redcap.

Dol wants to take the heads back to the village. Hendra wants to put the heads on the crosses. Sabrina wants to leave them behind. Since the two can’t agree, Hendra suggests the group vote. The group decides to bury the heads.

As they prepare for sleep that night, they hear a voice holler, “Hello.” A woman dressed in peasant clothes appears near the fire. She is carrying a basket of red and green apples. Sabrina takes one and eats it. The woman introduces herself as Dressela, the wife of the local woodsmen. Dol asks her about the missing people and describes the professor and students. Dressela remembers seeing them a week ago. She offers to play a game with Dol. She’ll tell Dol where the professor has gone if she can solve Dressela’s riddles.

“Before I’m born, I live in the earth, but to be shaped I bathe in flames. When I die, I’m red or sometimes green.” Zita answers, “Iron.”

“Every day you’ll find I’ve grown. And you bite me, clip me, …” Sabrina answers, “Nails.”

“I am a family of sisters. One in the forest. One by the sea. The third is in a mine hidden from the sky, but among us, we have only one eye, what am I?” Dol answers, “A hag coven.”

Dressella did see the professor with two young men making their way through the rainforest, headed to Iron Cavaya’s house. She is a powerful and dangerous witch. Dressella wants us to kill the witch because the witch killed her husband twenty years ago. Dol asks for advice about her. The witch is adept at poisons and narcotics. She also has an entourage and a son. She is known for animating inanimate things.

(Audrey Rose plans to brew some antitoxins before they visit the witch.)

Dressela points to a tree in the distance. She tells them there is a game trail behind the tree. Dressela adds that by following the trail, they will be at Iron Cavaya’s house by sunset the next day.

The Life and Times of a Dead Man - Episode 15 - Back To School

During the downtime, Sabrina goes around to everyone who owes them money to remind them to pay. Dol networks and Bosley does mysterious things. Hendra meets with Sheila Highmark and catches her up on what’s been going on with the agency. She hands Hendra a box with two wands. Sheila tells Hendra, “Consider this an investment. The Society has it in good authority that your agency will be contacted by the University for a job. We want you to take this job. The Society is invested in securing rare artifacts.” One wand is from House Jalisco and is a wand of Cure Light Wounds (50 charges) with the activation word Stayoc. The other, much older wand, is of Cure Moderate Wounds with the holy symbol of Olladra. The activation word is Stethus. Zita picks up her masterwork dagger from the store.

Sabrina and Zita visit Ceseli. Her grandmother’s assets have been unfrozen. She hands over 4000 gold. Each adventurer gets 666 gold, and 4 gold goes into the party treasury. She’s going to sell the house and move. Zita inquiries about Barnsworth as the companions are considering employing him. The city plans to handle the sale of the house. Zita and Ceseli agree that they will catch up again once she relocates.

Audrey Rose sells her masterwork chain shirt to Sabrina at a bargain.

The third day off is the Day of Mourning. A somber mood permeates the city as all remember the destroyed country Cyre. Uncle Jonathan Wadsworth sends Audrey Rose an invitation to her and her colleagues to lunch the next day to discuss a business proposition. They also receive a package from the city paying them back for their work on Cord Feldrum. The party gets 2000 gold pieces.

Sabrina shows up hungover the next day. The adventurers go to the University. The University was founded 260 years ago by Lord Lareth ir'Morgrave to be a "beacon of knowledge shining from the tallest towers of the city, illuminating the forgotten secrets of the past." The current headmaster is Lord Morgrave. The University has spent years studying Xendrik. The University is not the most reputable because they have sold their findings in the past. They’ve made great gains in researching Xendrik. There is an unfriendly rivalry between the University and the Pathway Society.

Audrey Rose leads the group to her uncle’s office. He takes an interest in Zita’s head and decides to run an experiment on her. He connects a suction cup to Zita’s head and proceeds to read her. He then gives Sabrina a wake-up pill to help with her hangover.

The group goes to the faculty commissary for lunch. Uncle Jonathan tells them that he will introduce them to Erics Righten, a professor of practical historical application who is looking for a missing colleague. Bella Senden, professor of history of the arts has been missing for days.

Dol asks for a reference to the astrology department.

Uncle Jonathan leads them to Dr. Rightsen’s office. He’s probably in his early 30s with slicked-back black hair, a mustache, and beard. He leads them to Dr. Senden’s office. She’s been missing for two weeks. She’s been mostly working with historical and practical applications of music in thaumaturgy. Ideally, Dr. Rightsen wants her brought back alive safe, and sound. If she can’t be brought back, they at least want to know where she is and why she left. They discuss the fee of 1000g/per person/per week.

Sabrina remembers the name Bella Senden. The lock to Dr. Senden’s office has not been tampered with. Upon opening the door, a rat and a cat come running out of the office. The cat has auburn fur with a blue stripe. There is a faint thaumaturgical aura with the cat. A loud metallic clang comes from within the room across the hall. There is a roar. Zita opens the door, and they see a jaguar with snakes coming out of its shoulders in the middle of the classroom.

Hendra closes the door. The beast charges the door and rams its claws through the glass.

Bosley casts Ray of Frost on the creature. Dol summons Tweetie-Bear, while Hendra tumbles into the classroom. The creature takes an attack of opportunity against Hendra. Despite being blinded, the beast searches for Hendra and attempts to bite her with its snakeheads; they all miss but it manages to claw her. Zita follows suit by also tumbling into the room. She jabs both her daggers into the creature’s shoulder. It lets out a loud shriek of pain. Bosley rams his rapier through the creature’s jaw. It slumps to the ground.

The rat is shivering by the control panel. Dol approaches it slowly with a lunch roll. He attempts to calm it before taking it. The rat is detecting as magic; it’s transmutation magic. They talk with Dr. Rightsen about the rat; he dispels the magic, and a teenage boy appears in its place. The boy is Cooven. He was trying to learn a spell that lets one teleport a short way, and the spell went awry. Sabrina can tell the boy is lying. Sabrina bluffs that she’s going to cast a truth-telling spell on Cooven and claims that if he lies, his penis will shrink. Cooven backtracks and admits he slipped into the office using a potion of gaseous form. Cooven, as Dr. Senden’s TA, was trying to find out what she was doing. She left abruptly on an expedition with a group of graduate students. During the fight, the cat slinked away.

Hendra searches the office. She finds a world map mounted on the wall. There are several pins stuck at various points in Corder and Zendrek. There’s a pin on the ground. There’s a pinhole in Breland in the King’s Forrest.

Dol went in search of the cat with Tweetie-Bear. In the stairwell, a teenage girl is hugging the cat very protectively. The cat is the girl’s familiar, Bluestreak. Dol brings the girl back to the office. The girl is Levini; she was looking through the familiar’s eyes because she was worried about the professor.

Coven gives them the names of the graduate students who went with the professor. Dol asks for their addresses along with the names of other graduate students with whom the professor worked.

Uncle Jonathan takes the two students away. Before he leaves, he shows them how the control panel operates. They suspect the rat ran across the control panel, opening the cage and releasing the creature. The beast was probably on loan from the zoo.

Zita unlocks the hidden panel on the desk. There is a book and magenta and forest green velvet sacks. The note is for a field trip. The book is a shorthand journal with teaching plans and expedition notes. The last entry just says Iron Cavaya, King’s Forest, and Breland. King’s Forest is a tempered rainforest by Sharn that goes all the way to the gnomish kingdom. There are many tales. One unvetted story is about Iron Cavaya, a witch. She has something to do with illegal drug trades.

The best bet is to take the House Orien road along the coast for forty miles and then head north. Taking a coach is 40 silver per person. They spend four gold from the party treasury to pay for the coach.