Shattered Star - Into the Nightmare Rift - We got the Treasure!

Tryptic enters the lake to get the treasure. He carries out several treasure chests. The party inventories the items. This includes a chest that is of giant make that they give to Solacra as a thank you.

North-by the map is THRILLED that they found the treasure. Tryptic promises to carve a nice scroll case for him.

The party sets up camp for the night.

Tryptic is outside the hut with Solacra. They have a suspicious feeling that something is watching them at you for the whole night.

Tryptic hears something rummaging through the scrub in the leaves are on the ground. Suddenly, a black rabbit with a white unicorn horn coming out of middle of head jumps out. It looks around but generally ignores them. After a few moments, the rabbit looks up at Solacra and its eyes are bloodshot. It opens a mouth full of sharp teeth. It leaps at them and attacks. Solacra crushes it with her club.

The party continues travelling the next day until they enter the badlands near Giltspur. They encounter a fort with guardtowers being manned by giants. Solacra doesn’t want to engage in a battle and leaves. The party moves in and the giants attack with ballista, boulders, and mammoths they set on fire.

The party manages to defeat the giants that were outside and proceed in.

Inside, they encounter...

Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - The one where Katrina kills her parents

Alternate title: Super-Turtle isn't eligible to join the Legion of Super Pets as he doesn't wear the S-Shield

Dynasty transports the heroes (including her broth...wait sister Kylie??) and Quatro's father to the planet Tau-Ceti V to save her father, Herman Ramirez, from Phora. She uses a power to sense all of her relatives and locates closest relatives: Kylie next to her, her father on Tau Ceti V, a being on Earth, and another somewhere just on the limits of her perception somewhere in unidentified space.

At that same moment: there is a knock on the door, Quatro's omnicom beeps, and all of their flight-rings ring with an emergency signal.

There is a brilliant flash of green flame and the party arrives in the room where Phora and Dynasty's father are. The room is full of people. They notice two specific people in the room: a human wearing an elaborate turban and Hgllptx Bg, Jr. (who was NOT transported) ????

An enraged Phora is baring down on Dyansty's father. Katrina yells at him ordering him to stop and Quatro moves in to punch him but misses. However, Phora attacks Katrina sending her flying across the room.

Quatro Lad's father attempts to charm random woman (next to where Katrina lands).

Reflectakid uses their powers to create a duplicate images of Dynasty's father. Seeing this, Katrina uses her latent Derlin abilities to impersonate Dynasty's father.

As the battle with Phora continues, the message on the flight rings comes through from Timberwolf that Monel and UltraBoy are fighting each other at Legion HQ and "tearing the place apart".

HOWEVER, Ouro Rud (Quatro Lad's father) believes Katrina to be a man "moving in on his territory" and punches her. Katrina is further angered by this.

Skid uses his friction powers to slow Phora down and the fight continues.

Dynasty uses her powers to transport the fracas to Earth where she sensed "her bloodline" exhausting her and causing her to pass out. They appear in room with: Katrina's parents and Zsa Zsa Patil. Katrina is a little disoriented and further angered at seeing her parents talking with Zsa Zsa. She sends a message over the flight ring for the team to close their eyes and attempts an all-direction dazzling stunning blast in hopes of temporarily blinding everyone.

Quatro and Skid are uneffected (as they closed their eyes), but Reflectikid is dazzled. When the light fades, Phora has vanished.  Quatro's father moves in and hits on Zsa Zsa.

Zsa Zsa snaps her fingers and the rooms lighting is back to normal from Reflectakid's effects. The rest of the group gets ready if Phora reappears.

Katrina reverts to her normal appearance and tries to kick Quatro's father in the groin in anger (for being an idiot and hitting her) but only hitting his leg.

Quatro tries to grab Zsa Zsa but his hands go right through her as if she was insubstantial.

Zsa Zsa starts berating and insulting the heroes. She reveals that she is training him to be a member of Nagini. Zsa Zsa says that Phora clearly considered her to be more of a mother than Katrina had ever been. She condescendingly tells them to leave.

Herman suddenly screams and falls over clutching his head. Skid checks and sees blood coming out of his ears. He sees a "wasp-like" creature.

Katrina turns to her parents demanding why Zsa Zsa was there.  Katrina's parents go on to accuse her of being an ungrateful child who doesn't care about her family. Katrina is dumbfounded at this and her eyes go cold as something inside her snaps...

Ouro sits down next to Katrina's father and says "Hey! We're family!"

After orders from Zsa Zsa they realize the wasp is Phora. Skid tries to grab the wasp with his tweezers. Reflectakid attempts to stun Phora with a flash.

Katrina goes over to Ouro and her parents. She raises her hands and incinerates them. She takes off her Legion ring and flies away.

Skid works on healing Herman and a version of Dynasty suddenly appears standing there (next to her unconscious body). The duplicate Dynasty assesses the situation.

Zsa Zsa continues to taunt Quatro until he can plan his next action.

The wasp in Herman's ear flies out, turns into a large snake, only to be blocked by a green shield summoned by duplicate Dynasty.  The snake reverts to being Phora.

Dynasty attempts to sap Zsa Zsa's will magically. Zsa Zsa vanishes revealing A BIG GREEN FLOATING EYEBALL (it's Dynasty's removed eye from earlier).

Meanwhile, Katrina flies in a daze. She gets turned around in the room and finds herself back into the room. Her parents and Quatro's father are sitting there as if nothing had happened.

Quatro attacks Phora and beats him down.

Zsa Zsa reappears and the eye disappears. She is obviously confused and then vanishes.

Dynasty joins in the attack against Phora. Their combined attack they disable him.

With combat finished, Dynasty's duplicate vanishes.

Katrina's mother asks her what happened, to which she replies (unaccented), "Don't ever speak to me again."

Skid wakes Dynasty, temporarily, and they fly back to Katrina's lab.

Katrina performs some temporal scans, but doesn't detect any unusual chronal energies on Dynasty. Dynasty theorizes that the eye is the Emerald Empress.

Timberwolf updates the group with what happened with the fight between Mon-El and Ultra-Boy.

Skid goes to check on Ultra Boy. Dynasty follows to allow her to recover under medical supervision.

Katrina examines Phora. He was wearing a nipple-ring (gift from Zsa Zsa) that was made from Atmospherium.

Shattered Star - Into the Nightmare Rift - I would back you up, Wil, but you didn't back me up about the dolphins

Image from my colonoscopy

The whispering turns out to be strange being of eyes and tentacles coming out of the tower to attack the heroes. A battle ensues. The party is badly beaten, but the flying polyp chooses not to press it's attack and it flies away. In the process, Jazeem falls into the water.

Jazeem comes out of the water, and seems somewhat unaffected. The party heals and returns to the shore. They divide the items they found and continue.

In their travel they encounter a cloud giant examining some ruins. He warns them away, but the heroes indicate they are not interested in what he is working on. They talk with him, but a fight doesn't ensue. His name is Syboroth. Morrigan is very careful to not reveal why they are there nor reveal what is going on. She mentions the locations they've been in general, but carefully omitting references to the Runelords. She references Stormreach and Fog Lake. Syboroth points out that the spires, like the one in Fog Lake, are prisons of beings aligned with the daelkyr.

The party continues.

As they continue, Wil notices they are surrounded by a large group of monkeys. They approach and Jazeem greets them. They do understand common. Jazeem inadvertently scares them away.

They make camp for the night and Solacra indicates she further feels they are being watched at night.

As they see the monkey's continue to follow them.

Because Jim named it "Ted"

The party is attacked by strange jackal like creatures. Morrigan theorizes they were ones regular jackals that had been mutated by the strong magics of Xen'drik. The jackals flee, and the party sees that they were standing over the bodies of serpentfolk. They find an alchemical beetle. Tryptic reactivates it.

While they continue to travel North-By jumps out of the bag and directs them to the lake where the treasure guarded by the half-dragon dire crocodile.

They arrive at the lake. North-By points out that the treasure is IN the lake. Jazeem proceeds to make chicken noises to lure the crocodile out. Battle ensues and the crocodile eventually surrenders and dives beneath the water.

Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - And then this message from Earth arrives.

To: LSH-ALL, LSHACADEMY-ALL
From: TPK@TPKattorney-in-law.org.up
Subject: Hearing

Qar, Qatrina:

Since neither of you showed up at the appointed time, I had to improvise. I’m attaching a holovid of the hearing. We almost had it, but McCauley’s lawyer is GOOD! Time for Plan L, I guess. I’m not sure where to find all the bananas though. But I’ll work it out. That’s what you’re paying me for. Ding.

TPK

PS: I don’t have your individual hyperspace e-addresses, so I just sent this to the LSH and Academy lists, figuring you’d get it that way.

PPS: I’m going to have to bill you for all the props. But don’t worry, I got most of them off space-bay. The doll was a little pricey though since it’s a collector’s item. If you have any yourself, now might be the time to unload them.

PPPS: A holovid producer saw this and now is giving me my own show! Score!

Ding.

[attached: Holovid.pe file 298tb]

For primitive computing devices incapable of running 3-D holovid files with 2098tb memory, a transcript is provided below.

In a small courtroom, two tables face the judge’s bench. Behind one table is a sour-faced human male with a black briefcase. Behind the other is Tenzil P. Kem, his feet up on the table as he tosses lugnuts into the air and catches them in his mouth.

Judge: Mr. Kem, your witness is late. If she doesn’t appear, I’ll have to render my decision without hearing from her.

TPK: Don’t worry, your honorship. I’m sure she’ll be here any moment. As a Legionnaire, she sometimes get caught up in various galaxy-saving efforts.

McCauley’s lawyer [hereafter called Squid-Face, but not because he has a literal squid-face (not that there’s anything wrong with that)]: Your honor, I still maintain that this hearing isn’t even necessary. My client is . . .

Squid-Face is interrupted by the door to the courtroom opening. He, TPK, and the half-dozen observers turn to look. The Legionnaire Dawnstar struggles to get her wings through the doorway. Well, not really Dawnstar. More like a bad 1970s-Cher impersonator in an askew wig with fake wings only halfway connected to her back. Actually not even a “her” based on the facial stubble and prominent Adam’s apple.

“Dawnstar”: I’m ooof I’m here, your honor.

TPK: [shaking head and hissing loudly] Wrong Indian. The dot kind, not the feather kind.

“Dawnstar”: [looking surprised] Oh, sorry. Er, wrong courtroom.

“She” turns to leave, but steps on one of her wings, pulling it off her back and throwing her off-balance enough that she falls face-first out the door. She crawls the rest of the way out, dragging the wing, and the door closes again.

Squid-Face: [looking pained] Your honor, it’s already obvious given my opponent’s . . .reputation . . . that this whole hearing will be a farce. I request that you just render your decision without any further delay.

Judge: Mr. Kem?

TPK: Your honorific, my witness will be here any moment. In fact, I’m positive she’s in the building already. Probably just freshening up. You know, putting on her best face for the court.

Another few minutes pass, with TPK popping lugnuts, Squid-Face shuffling through papers in his briefcase, and the judge happily humming to himself. Finally the door opens again, and Katrina Gupta enters. Well, “Katrina Gupta.” It appears to be the same person that was in the Dawnstar costume, with the same bad wig, darker skin, and a decorative bedsheet wrapped around “her” in a style akin to a frat-boy’s toga. Upon closer inspection, the bedsheet is emblazoned with characters from Legion Academy Babies. TPK coughs and points to his own forehead. “Katrina” puts a finger to her forehead. When she pulls it away, there’s a red dot over the bridge of her nose. She walks, with some difficulty because of the trailing bedsheet, to the front of the courtroom and takes a seat next to the judge’s bench. Squid-Face looks on in disbelief.

Katrina: [in faux Indian accent] Oh, I am sorry I am late. There was, um, a traffic jam above the Ganges that I got caught in.

Judge: Bailiff, will you swear in the witness?

Bailiff: [approaching Katrina with an Omnicom.] Do you swear to tell . . .

Katrina: [waving the bailiff off] I will not swear by one of your soulless modern creations. I will only swear to one of the sacred deities of my people.

TPK: [from under the table he pulls out a four-armed purple figure with an elephant’s trunk stuck to the middle of its face. It appears to be a Legion Academy Babies Foursie doll, modified. He brings it to Katrina and holds it up before her.] I happen to have one here.

Katrina: [places her hands together in front of her chest and bows to the figure] I swear to holy Ganeshiva that I will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. May Ganeshiva strike me down on the spot if I am lying. [She nervously looks upward and sighs when nothing happens.]

Squid-Face: Your honor, this is ridiculous. This isn’t even a real woman!

Katrina: [angrily, her faux accent becoming even stronger] How dare you! I am currently suffering from Grandin Gender-Reversal Disease and will thank you not to call attention to my affliction. I am still all woman!

TPK: [sticks tongue out at Squid-Face before turning back to Katrina] And may I say that you are bearing up wonderfully. That is a lovely dress.

Katrina: Sari.

TPK: [louder] I said, that’s a lovely dress!

Katrina: Sari.

TPK: THAT’S A LOVELY DRESS!

Katrina: [confused] Um, thank you.

TPK: Please confirm, is your name Dr. Katrina Gupta?

Katrina: That is the name I use when I perform SCIENCE. But in my heart, I think of myself as Mrs. Qar Rud.

TPK: Well then, Mrs. Rud, this hearing is to establish your relationship with Mr. Qar Rud, better known as Quatro Lad.

Katrina: He is my one true love.

TPK: But we need to establish your legal relationship to him. Are you his wife?

Katrina: That is how I think of myself.

TPK: [smugly, to Squid-Face] Your witness.

Squid-Face: [steps up to the witness stand] Dr. Gupta, or whoever you really are, have you and Mr. Rud ever had a marriage ceremony?

Katrina: Only between the sheets.

Squid-Face: [looking pained] But no actual, legal, ceremony. With witnesses and vows and a presiding judge.

Katrina: Not as such, but that’s just a technicality. I still think of myself as his wife.

Squid-Face: It’s not a “technicality,” it’s the law. I’m done here. [he returns to his table.]

TPK: Ah, but Mrs. Rud, you have property holdings on Ventura, do you not?

Katrina: I do, inherited from my late husband, my last one, dear Vid Gupta.

TPK: And you have a child together with Mr. Rud, do you not?

Katrina: We do. Dear little . . . um . . . dear little . . . baby.

TPK: And according to Venturan law code, section 453, paragraph 2048, subsection J9.5, any individual who is a property owner on Ventura and has a child with another individual, they shall be considered common-law spouses with all rights and responsibilities to each other. [to the judge] You can look that up. So we see that Dr. Gupta is entitled to call herself, and IS in fact of law, Mrs. Qar Rud.

Squid-Face: [rising] And where is this baby of yours, Dr. Gupta? Surely you didn’t leave him unattended somewhere?

Katrina: [indignant, her faux accent again strengthening] Of course not! I would never leave my darling . . . baby alone! He is . . . is . . . [sees TPK gesturing at the figure of Ganeshiva he’s still holding] . . . with his Uncle Tenzil!

TPK holds up the Foursie doll, hastily pulling off the elephant trunk and hiding it behind his back. He tosses the doll to Katrina, who barely catches it by one arm, slamming it into the side of the judge’s bench before nestling it in her lap.

Katrina: Baby loves spending time with Uncle Tenzil. Oh, I think the poor dear is hungry. [She pulls down an edge of the bedsheet, exposing a hairy nipple which she mashes the doll’s face against.]

Squid-Face: [pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers] Oh, for . . . “Dr. Gupta,” what is the baby’s name?

Katrina: His name? Um, his name. His name. His name is . . . [looks at TPK, who is holding up four fingers] . . . is . . . Foursie! [TPK shakes his head.]

Squid-Face: I believe you’re confusing your baby with the character in Legion Academy Babies based on Quatro Lad. You know, the one all over the bedsheet you’re wearing.

Katrina: Sari.

TPK: [loudly] He said Foursie is on your dress. [in normal voice] And of course what Mrs. Rud means to say is that “Foursie” is the baby’s nickname, based on her husband’s name on that holocartoon. It’s only natural that “Foursie” be used as a shortening of the baby’s name, Phora.

Katrina: Yes, that is exactly what I meant.

Squid-Face: Your honor, please, can we put an end to this farce?

Katrina: [angrily] Farce? My love for Qar and my baby Foursie-Phora is no farce. Let me tell you how much I love my husband.

Katrina stands, and TPK hits a button on his Omnicom. Hindi music starts playing, and Katrina whirls around and begins to sing and dance. The words are in a foreign language, but there are Interlac subtitles as she sings about how much she loves Qar.

The observers in the courtroom fall in behind her, matching her dance moves perfectly.

Despite the unheard objections of Squid-Face, the judge himself gets up and joins the dance. Rays of color, seemingly coming from Katrina’s hands, spray out everywhere as the crowd swirls and undulates.

Five minutes later, the dance continues as Katrina sings about how happy and loved Qar makes her feel, and how the gods smile upon their union. TPK sways on the sidelines, holding baby Phora and twirling him around. In the background, a grumpy Squid-Face appears to be checking his messages on his Omnicom.

Ten minutes later, the dance continues, with more spectators from outside coming in so that dozens of people are dancing. Squid-Face is eating a Winathian chicken wrap from his briefcase.

Five minutes after that, the dance finally ends. Squid-Face looks up from his Omnicom in surprise as the music ends and everyone returns to their seats. Katrina turns to him.

Katrina: [in thick accent] And THAT is how much I love him.

Squid-Face: [dryly] So noted. Judge Whopnir, don’t you think we should speak to Mr. Rud himself now?

TPK: Ah, yes. He’s waiting right outside. Dr. Gupta, would you be so kind as to fetch your husband.

Katrina: Oh yes. I will do that right now.

Katrina hastens from the room, tripping over her bedsheet. Minutes pass as Squid-Face drums his fingers on the desk. Finally the door to the room opens again, and a four-armed man enters. He has the same dark skin coloration as Katrina, and two of his arms flop limply. Squid-Face rolls his eyes.

TPK: [hissing] Purple.

“Quatro Lad” opens his eyes wide and looks at himself. Suddenly, his entire body turns purple. The Ghoran observer in the courtroom begins laughing hysterically. Quatro Lad struts to the front of the courtroom, his lower arms swinging about like tubing with gloves on the ends. He sits at the witness stand, and the bailiff approaches with an Omnicom. He raises one hand and then uses his other good hand to raise the lower hand.

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, according to the Constitution and governing documents of the United Planets.

“Quatro”: [in heavy Rimborian accent] That ain’t the kinda swearin’ I’m used to, but sure, why the sprock not?

TPK: Would you state your name for the court?

Quatro: Some people call me a space cowboy. Some call me a gangster of love. Some people call me Qar Rud, ‘cause I speak of the Pompatus of Love. Hey, why does Katrina get to do alla the singin’, you know?

TPK: Mr. Rud, can you describe your relationship with Dr. Katrina Gupta?

Quatro: Not in public, I can’t. [elbows judge] You know what I mean?

TPK: You enjoy an . . . intimate relationship with her then.

Quatro: Yeah, I enjoy the hell of out of it. So does she. I mean, look at me. [points at his chest with two thumbs] How could she not?

TPK: And she is the mother of your child?

Quatro: Yeah, she’s my baby mama. Hey, where’s the little tyke at? Come see daddy, little . . . Phoursia.

TPK tosses the baby to Quatro, who misses it. It crashes into the wall behind him, but Quatro just reaches around and picks it up by one arm.

Quatro: Ah, the little’s guy’s Quatro tough, just like his old man. [He tosses the doll up and catches it a few times, but it suddenly begins to emit a greenish-brown sludge from its bottom.] [in normal voice] Oh, grife. You got the kind with Real Pooping Action.

Quatro hastily tosses the doll toward Squid-Face, who instinctively catches it and within seconds is covered in the toxic brown sludge. Squid-Face throws it toward TPK, who just lets it drop to the floor before reaching down and scooping up a fingerful of the sludge.

TPK: [tasting the sludge] Mmm, Venusian peanut butter and anti-gravitic brake fluid. Interesting combination. [to Squid-Face] Your witness.

Squid-Face: [looking pained as he tries to wipe the sludge off his face and expensive suit] Mr. Rud, if you are in a common-law marriage with Dr. Katrina Gupta, then why did you enter into a relationship with my client’s niece, Miss Margi Tinelli?

Quatro: [in Rimborian accent again] Hey, there’s more than enough of me to share. If you know what I mean. [elbows judge]

Squid-Face: And Dr. Gupta doesn’t mind?

Quatro: Nah, as much of a tigress as she is in the sack, she knows she’s not enough to satisfy me. Like they say, four arms, no waiting. [With his two real hands he makes squeezing motions while he hops up and down in his seat to make the two lower hands flop about.]

Squid-Face: Such an understanding wife. [to judge] Your honor, I would like to re-question Dr. Gupta.

Judge: I’ll allow it.

Quatro: [awkwardly] Oh, um, ok. I’ll go get her. [He stands.]

Squid-Face: [with first real smile]: Actually, I’d like to question the two of you together.

Quatro: [looking at TPK in panic] Um, okay, then maybe Tenzil, I mean Mr. Kem, can go get her. I think she said she was going to the restroom. The um men’s restroom, you know, because of her, you know, disease. She um she usually uses the second stall. On the right. Um, her habit, you know.

Squid-Face smirks as TPK runs out. Minutes pass. Quatro shifts uncomfortably in his seat. The judge hums Katrina’s big musical number. Finally, the courtroom door opens, and “Katrina” steps in. The wig is askew, and the bedsheet is inelegantly wrapped. In the doorway, she points urgently at her pinkish-white skin until Quatro notices, and suddenly her skin takes on a darker hue. She walks to the front of the courtroom, directing a wink at Quatro who is covering his face with one of his functional hands.

Katrina: [in a worse Indian accent than before] Brilliant but humble attorney-in-law Kem had to use the facilities too. He might be a while.

Squid-Face: That’s not a problem. I’m sure he’s with us in spirit. Now, “Dr. Gupta,” would you tell us how you feel about Mr. Rud’s relationship with Miss Tinelli?

Katrina: Oh, it is quite understandable. I try to be a good wife to him but there is only so much I can do. A man as manly as him has needs.

Squid-Face: Mr. Rud, is this true? Is Dr. Gupta truly unable to meet your needs?

Quatro: Well, I know she tries, you know. But she just spends so much time doin’ SCIENCE. It’s hard, you know. If she just spent time less time doin’ LAW, I mean SCIENCE, maybe I wouldn’t feel so ignored.

Katrina: I’ll remind you that me doing SCIENCE is what puts food on the table.

Quatro: You call that food? You wonder why I’m so skinny, it’s because there’s no decent food . . . REAL food . . . in the house. And I’ll remind you that I work too.

Katrina: You call that work? Going into someone’s house and just changing the color of everything?

Quatro: [in normal voice] It’s called interior decorating, and just because you have no taste . . .

Katrina: [also in normal voice] Taste? You call making the Minister of Food Export’s bathroom puce and orange plaid tasteful?

Quatro: Plaid is in.

Katrina: Plaid hasn’t been in for two hundred years! It’s a good thing I’m such a good attorney-in-law, I mean scientist, or the minister would have sued you.

Quatro: “Minister of Food Exports”? Hah, on any planet other than Bismoll, he’d be called a garbage collector! And you’re not even an attorney!

Katrina: I’m an attorney-IN-LAW.

Quatro: Oh, because your brother’s wife is an actual attorney? When was the last time you had a client that you were able to collect credits from?

Katrina: Once this case ends, we’ll be rolling in it.

Quatro: Rolling in something, you mean. I can’t believe I even let you talk me into this. I sometimes wish we had never gotten married at that ancient-monster-themed chapel on Ventura. Just because you wanted a skyscraper wedding cake. That I couldn’t even eat!

Katrina: [accepts Omnicom from Squid-Face and looks down at the screen] Well, that’s easily enough solved. According to Venturan law code, section 459, paragraph 825, subsection K5.3, all I have to do is say “I divorce you,” and it’s over. So I divorce you.

Quatro: [gasps and starts to cry] I can’t believe you did that.

Squid-Face: [triumphantly] Given what we have just witnessed, your honor, it seems as if Dr. Gupta and Mr. Rud are no longer wed by the laws of Ventura. Which means there is no bigamy objection to Mr. Rud marrying Miss Tinelli. I request that you so rule.

Judge: So ruled. With the heartbreaking yet legal separation of Mr. Rud from Dr. Gupta, there is no impediment to his wedding with Miss Tinelli. This hearing is over.

Katrina: Well, sprock.

The holovid ends.