The Life and Times of a Dead Man - Episode 3 - It's going to smell like fart dog in here

The two-headed dog thing has patches of skin missing and the party can see bone and sinew. It looks like little model purple and brown worms are crawling around underneath its skin.

The creature attacks, biting Hendra’s arm. The other head bites Zita (ripping her sleeve). Luckily, neither character is tripped. Hendra slashes at the creature with her longsword and Audrey Rose hurts him badly with a bomb. Bosely web-bolt misses. Tweetie-Bear’s mask opens, and it bites the dog. Meanwhile, Dol greases the ground the dog stands on causing the dog to splay on the ground. Zita tumbles behind the beast and gets into a flanking position. She jumps and sinks a dagger into each head while yelling about her ruined dress. The creature dies instantly. They look and the worms in it move less and less.

Zeta wonders how this creature was able to talk. Although Audrey Rose is knowledgeable in Arcana, she has never seen or heard of a creature like this. Tweety-bear notes it is NOT undead. 

Hendra investigates the area and finds a tea service. There is a slender rod made of stone by the tea service; it is a wand of stone shape.  Dol, Hendra, and Audrey Rose unsuccessfully attempt to use the rod to free the trapped victims. Audrey Rose examines the two live bodies behind the wall. They are suffering from general neglect and look as though they are dying.  Dol theorizes they may have been sacrifices.

They also find beef bones the creature chewed on in a little next area the creature slept in.

Dol and Bosley contemplate getting the guard when they suddenly hear the lift heading down. Dol orders Tweetie-bear to move to the elevator. Lady Arluna, who has a halfling in regal garb and frills sitting on her lap, and Baron by her side, appears downstairs. The halfing has a disturbing laugh and a malicious smile. Arluna speaks to Tweetie-Bear and asks him to scoot. She enters the room, notices the dead dog.

“Oh dear, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I dreadfully sorry about all of this. Let me explain what happened here.”

Then she casts a spell putting Audrey Rose to sleep.

The halfling laughs maniacally, pulls out a huge straight razor (might be good for hamstringing people), and slices Tweetie-Bird. Tweetie-Bird disappears. Hendra responds by swinging her longsword and attacking the halfling. Zita attacks the halfling with her two daggers and slashes his nice shirt. Lady Arluna starts to sing, reaches out and touches the halfling, healing it. Bosley cruelly stabs Baron.

Upstairs, Sabrina attempts to pry the elevator open. A terrified Barnsworth butler shows up with a frying pan. He’s hearing the fighting downstairs and feeling fearful. Sabrina casts Hideous Laughter on the butler who promptly falls over and starts to laugh.

Dol summons a viper and steps back.

Baron attempts to bite Bosley’s leg. The crazy halfling flanks Hendra and slashes her hamstrings, knocking her down – she falls down and is dying. Zita shakes Audrey Rose awake. Lady Arluna doesn’t like this and casts a spell on her causing her to feel drowsy. Dol trips the halfling and knocks him down. Lady Arluna sicks Baron on Bosley who is viciously attacked. Zita double daggers the halfling from behind. Audrey Rose throws a targeted bomb at the halfling; he blows up in orange smoke (1). 

Baron snarls at Dol and knocks them unconscious. Lady Arluna starts singing and gestures at Zita. Zita runs her hand over her hair, showing off her elf ears, and bluffs, “Your sleep doesn’t work on me.” Lady Arluna gestures at Audrey Rose and puts her to sleep.

Barnsworth runs off to get the guard. Sabrina has managed to pry open the lift doors. She discovers a hatch on the lift floor but can’t figure out how to bend bars and lift grates to get it open. Zita shakes Audrey Rose awake, again. Audrey Rose throws a magenta bomb and hits Lady Arluna directly in the face; her singing ceases and is replaced with screams.

Baron buries his teeth in Bosley’s knee. Audrey Rose throws a bomb at Lady Arluna and she starts to burn (2). The battle continues and Audrey Rose pulls out a lovely parasol and proceeds to draw a cane sword from it. Zita cuts Lady Arluna across the forehead, and she slumps on her chair. Bosley pierces Baron with his rapier, killing him (3).

Sabrina continues to try to bash open the lift. Audrey Rose attempts to provide medical treatment to Handra and Dol. 

Bosley pulls the keys off of Lady Arluna’s chair (4) and uses them to operate the lift.

Inside is a frustrated Sabrina with three broken chairs. She’s pissed that she’s not going to get paid. 

Sabrina repositions Hendra’s body at the dining table, making it seem as though she had had too much to drinks. She brings Hendra’s and Dol’s body up to the dining room/living room. 

Zita finds Ceseli hiding under her bed but STILL doesn’t try to seduce her. She proceeds to explain to Ceseli exactly what happened, asserting that her grandmother was at least partially responsible for the people embedded in the walls, and speculates that the halfling was the Sharn Slicer (5). Ceseli is in shock. Zita recommends Ceseli contact her grandfather.

When the guards arrive with Barnsworth Audrey Rose tells them everything. It is a long night as we are questioned multiple times and as the bodies are chiseled out of the stone.  Aid is given to Hendra and Dol with assistance from medics from House Jorasco. Barnsworth is questioned and asserts he knows about none of this.

Bosley approaches Ceseli with an invoice; Zita intervenes. Dol asks Ceseli if she wishes for us to stay for a few additional days to keep her safe. She agrees. 

Zita returns to the master bedroom and pockets one potion of bull strength. 

Neighbors notice the guards at the house, and it is assumed that word will certainly get out soon. (6)

(1) Thanks to Zita's efforts, the halfling went down.

(2) Thanks to Zita's intervention, the old woman is on fire.

(3) Hendra's bold leadership faceplanting and Sabrina's steely eyed determination against the door provided the moral fortitude for the party to win the battle.

(4) With Zita's assistance.

(5) Sharn City Watch, "That is circumstantial evidence, the BEST kind of evidence."

(6) Flesh and Blood was a terrible movie