Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - And then this message from Earth arrives

To: LSH-ALL, LSHACADEMY-ALL
From: TPK@TPKattorney-in-law.org.up
Subject: Hearing

Qar, Qatrina:

Since neither of you showed up at the appointed time, I had to improvise. I’m attaching a
holovid of the hearing. We almost had it, but McCauley’s lawyer is GOOD! Time for
Plan L, I guess. I’m not sure where to find all the bananas though. But I’ll work it out.
That’s what you’re paying me for. Ding.

TPK

PS: I don’t have your individual hyperspace e-addresses, so I just sent this to the LSH
and Academy lists, figuring you’d get it that way.

PPS: I’m going to have to bill you for all the props. But don’t worry, I got most of them
off space-bay. The doll was a little pricey though since it’s a collector’s item. If you have
any yourself, now might be the time to unload them.

PPPS: A holovid producer saw this and now is giving me my own show! Score!
Ding.


[attached: Holovid.pe file 298tb]

For primitive computing devices incapable of running 3-D holovid files with 2098tb
memory, a transcript is provided below.
In a small courtroom, two tables face the judge’s bench. Behind one table is a sour-faced
human male with a black briefcase. Behind the other is Tenzil P. Kem, his feet up on the
table as he tosses lugnuts into the air and catches them in his mouth.
Judge: Mr. Kem, your witness is late. If she doesn’t appear, I’ll have to render my
decision without hearing from her.
TPK: Don’t worry, your honorship. I’m sure she’ll be here any moment. As a
Legionnaire, she sometimes get caught up in various galaxy-saving efforts.
McCauley’s lawyer [hereafter called Squid-Face, but not because he has a literal
squid-face (not that there’s anything wrong with that)]: Your honor, I still maintain
that this hearing isn’t even necessary. My client is . . .
Squid-Face is interrupted by the door to the courtroom opening. He, TPK, and the halfdozen
observers turn to look. The Legionnaire Dawnstar struggles to get her wings
through the doorway. Well, not really Dawnstar. More like a bad 1970s-Cher
impersonator in an askew wig with fake wings only halfway connected to her back.
Actually not even a “her” based on the facial stubble and prominent Adam’s apple.
“Dawnstar”: I’m ooof I’m here, your honor.
TPK: [shaking head and hissing loudly] Wrong Indian. The dot kind, not the feather
kind.
“Dawnstar”: [looking surprised] Oh, sorry. Er, wrong courtroom. [“She” turns to leave,
but steps on one of her wings, pulling it off her back and throwing her off-balance
enough that she falls face-first out the door. She crawls the rest of the way out, dragging
the wing, and the door closes again.
Squid-Face: [looking pained] Your honor, it’s already obvious given my opponent’s . . .
reputation . . . that this whole hearing will be a farce. I request that you just render your
decision without any further delay.
Judge: Mr. Kem?
TPK: Your honorific, my witness will be here any moment. In fact, I’m positive she’s in
the building already. Probably just freshening up. You know, putting on her best face for
the court.
Another few minutes pass, with TPK popping lugnuts, Squid-Face shuffling through
papers in his briefcase, and the judge happily humming to himself. Finally the door opens
again, and Katrina Gupta enters. Well, “Katrina Gupta.” It appears to be the same
person that was in the Dawnstar costume, with the same bad wig, darker skin, and a
decorative bedsheet wrapped around “her” in a style akin to a frat-boy’s toga. Upon
closer inspection, the bedsheet is emblazoned with characters from Legion Academy
Babies. TPK coughs and points to his own forehead. “Katrina” puts a finger to her
forehead. When she pulls it away, there’s a red dot over the bridge of her nose. She
walks, with some difficulty because of the trailing bedsheet, to the front of the courtroom
and takes a seat next to the judge’s bench. Squid-Face looks on in disbelief.
Katrina: [in faux Indian accent] Oh, I am sorry I am late. There was, um, a traffic jam
above the Ganges that I got caught in.
Judge: Bailiff, will you swear in the witness?
Bailiff: [approaching Katrina with an Omnicom.] Do you swear to tell . . .
Katrina: [waving the bailiff off] I will not swear by one of your soulless modern
creations. I will only swear to one of the sacred deities of my people.
TPK: [from under the table he pulls out a four-armed purple figure with an elephant’s
trunk stuck to the middle of its face. It appears to be a Legion Academy Babies Foursie
doll, modified. He brings it to Katrina and holds it up before her.] I happen to have one
here.
Katrina: [places her hands together in front of her chest and bows to the figure] I swear
to holy Ganeshiva that I will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. May
Ganeshiva strike me down on the spot if I am lying. [She nervously looks upward and
sighs when nothing happens.]
Squid-Face: Your honor, this is ridiculous. This isn’t even a real woman!
Katrina: [angrily, her faux accent becoming even stronger] How dare you! I am
currently suffering from Grandin Gender-Reversal Disease and will thank you not to call
attention to my affliction. I am still all woman!
TPK: [sticks tongue out at Squid-Face before turning back to Katrina] And may I say
that you are bearing up wonderfully. That is a lovely dress.
Katrina: Sari.
TPK: [louder] I said, that’s a lovely dress!
Katrina: Sari.
TPK: THAT’S A LOVELY DRESS!
Katrina: [confused] Um, thank you.
TPK: Please confirm, is your name Dr. Katrina Gupta?
Katrina: That is the name I use when I perform SCIENCE. But in my heart, I think of
myself as Mrs. Qar Rud.
TPK: Well then, Mrs. Rud, this hearing is to establish your relationship with Mr. Qar
Rud, better known as Quatro Lad.
Katrina: He is my one true love.
TPK: But we need to establish your legal relationship to him. Are you his wife?
Katrina: That is how I think of myself.
TPK: [smugly, to Squid-Face] Your witness.
Squid-Face: [steps up to the witness stand] Dr. Gupta, or whoever you really are, have
you and Mr. Rud ever had a marriage ceremony?
Katrina: Only between the sheets.
Squid-Face: [looking pained] But no actual, legal, ceremony. With witnesses and vows
and a presiding judge.
Katrina: Not as such, but that’s just a technicality. I still think of myself as his wife.
Squid-Face: It’s not a “technicality,” it’s the law. I’m done here. [he returns to his table.]
TPK: Ah, but Mrs. Rud, you have property holdings on Ventura, do you not?
Katrina: I do, inherited from my late husband, my last one, dear Vid Gupta.
TPK: And you have a child together with Mr. Rud, do you not?
Katrina: We do. Dear little . . . um . . . dear little . . . baby.
TPK: And according to Venturan law code, section 453, paragraph 2048, subsection
J9.5, any individual who is a property owner on Ventura and has a child with another
individual, they shall be considered common-law spouses with all rights and
responsibilities to each other. [to the judge] You can look that up. So we see that Dr.
Gupta is entitled to call herself, and IS in fact of law, Mrs. Qar Rud.
Squid-Face: [rising] And where is this baby of yours, Dr. Gupta? Surely you didn’t leave
him unattended somewhere?
Katrina: [indignant, her faux accent again strengthening] Of course not! I would never
leave my darling . . . baby alone! He is . . . is . . . [sees TPK gesturing at the figure of
Ganeshiva he’s still holding] . . . with his Uncle Tenzil!
TPK holds up the Foursie doll, hastily pulling off the elephant trunk and hiding it behind
his back. He tosses the doll to Katrina, who barely catches it by one arm, slamming it
into the side of the judge’s bench before nestling it in her lap.
Katrina: Baby loves spending time with Uncle Tenzil. Oh, I think the poor dear is
hungry. [She pulls down an edge of the bedsheet, exposing a hairy nipple which she
mashes the doll’s face against.]
Squid-Face: [pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers] Oh, for . . . “Dr.
Gupta,” what is the baby’s name?
Katrina: His name? Um, his name. His name. His name is . . . [looks at TPK, who is
holding up four fingers] . . . is . . . Foursie! [TPK shakes his head.]
Squid-Face: I believe you’re confusing your baby with the character in Legion Academy
Babies based on Quatro Lad. You know, the one all over the bedsheet you’re wearing.
Katrina: Sari.
TPK: [loudly] He said Foursie is on your dress. [in normal voice] And of course what
Mrs. Rud means to say is that “Foursie” is the baby’s nickname, based on her husband’s
name on that holocartoon. It’s only natural that “Foursie” be used as a shortening of the
baby’s name, Phora.
Katrina: Yes, that is exactly what I meant.
Squid-Face: Your honor, please, can we put an end to this farce?
Katrina: [angrily] Farce? My love for Qar and my baby Foursie-Phora is no farce. Let
me tell you how much I love my husband.
Katrina stands, and TPK hits a button on his Omnicom. Hindi music starts playing, and
Katrina whirls around and begins to sing and dance. The words are in a foreign
language, but there are Interlac subtitles as she sings about how much she loves Qar.
The observers in the courtroom fall in behind her, matching her dance moves perfectly.
Despite the unheard objections of Squid-Face, the judge himself gets up and joins the
dance. Rays of color, seemingly coming from Katrina’s hands, spray out everywhere as
the crowd swirls and undulates.
Five minutes later, the dance continues as Katrina sings about how happy and loved Qar
makes her feel, and how the gods smile upon their union. TPK sways on the sidelines,
holding baby Phora and twirling him around. In the background, a grumpy Squid-Face
appears to be checking his messages on his Omnicom.
Ten minutes later, the dance continues, with more spectators from outside coming in so
that dozens of people are dancing. Squid-Face is eating a Winathian chicken wrap from
his briefcase.
Five minutes after that, the dance finally ends. Squid-Face looks up from his Omnicom in
surprise as the music ends and everyone returns to their seats. Katrina turns to him.
Katrina: [in thick accent] And THAT is how much I love him.
Squid-Face: [dryly] So noted. Judge Whopnir, don’t you think we should speak to Mr.
Rud himself now?
TPK: Ah, yes. He’s waiting right outside. Dr. Gupta, would you be so kind as to fetch
your husband.
Katrina: Oh yes. I will do that right now.
Katrina hastens from the room, tripping over her bedsheet. Minutes pass as Squid-Face
drums his fingers on the desk. Finally the door to the room opens again, and a fourarmed
man enters. He has the same dark skin coloration as Katrina, and two of his arms
flop limply. Squid-Face rolls his eyes.
TPK: [hissing] Purple.
“Quatro Lad” opens his eyes wide and looks at himself. Suddenly, his entire body turns
purple. The Ghoran observer in the courtroom begins laughing hysterically. Quatro Lad
struts to the front of the courtroom, his lower arms swinging about like tubing with
gloves on the ends. He sits at the witness stand, and the bailiff approaches with an
Omnicom. He raises one hand and then uses his other good hand to raise the lower hand.
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, according to the Constitution and governing
documents of the United Planets.
“Quatro”: [in heavy Rimborian accent] That ain’t the kinda swearin’ I’m used to, but
sure, why the sprock not?
TPK: Would you state your name for the court?
Quatro: Some people call me a space cowboy. Some call me a gangster of love. Some
people call me Qar Rud, ‘cause I speak of the Pompatus of Love. Hey, why does Katrina
get to do alla the singin’, you know?
TPK: Mr. Rud, can you describe your relationship with Dr. Katrina Gupta?
Quatro: Not in public, I can’t. [elbows judge] You know what I mean?
TPK: You enjoy an . . . intimate relationship with her then.
Quatro: Yeah, I enjoy the hell of out of it. So does she. I mean, look at me. [points at his
chest with two thumbs] How could she not?
TPK: And she is the mother of your child?
Quatro: Yeah, she’s my baby mama. Hey, where’s the little tyke at? Come see daddy,
little . . . Phoursia.
TPK tosses the baby to Quatro, who misses it. It crashes into the wall behind him, but
Quatro just reaches around and picks it up by one arm.
Quatro: Ah, the little’s guy’s Quatro tough, just like his old man. [He tosses the doll up
and catches it a few times, but it suddenly begins to emit a greenish-brown sludge from
its bottom.] [in normal voice] Oh, grife. You got the kind with Real Pooping Action.
Quatro hastily tosses the doll toward Squid-Face, who instinctively catches it and within
seconds is covered in the toxic brown sludge. Squid-Face throws it toward TPK, who just
lets it drop to the floor before reaching down and scooping up a fingerful of the sludge.
TPK: [tasting the sludge] Mmm, Venusian peanut butter and anti-gravitic brake fluid.
Interesting combination. [to Squid-Face] Your witness.
Squid-Face: [looking pained as he tries to wipe the sludge off his face and expensive
suit] Mr. Rud, if you are in a common-law marriage with Dr. Katrina Gupta, then why
did you enter into a relationship with my client’s niece, Miss Margi Tinelli?
Quatro: [in Rimborian accent again] Hey, there’s more than enough of me to share. If
you know what I mean. [elbows judge]
Squid-Face: And Dr. Gupta doesn’t mind?
Quatro: Nah, as much of a tigress as she is in the sack, she knows she’s not enough to
satisfy me. Like they say, four arms, no waiting. [With his two real hands he makes
squeezing motions while he hops up and down in his seat to make the two lower hands
flop about.]
Squid-Face: Such an understanding wife. [to judge] Your honor, I would like to requestion
Dr. Gupta.
Judge: I’ll allow it.
Quatro: [awkwardly] Oh, um, ok. I’ll go get her. [He stands.]
Squid-Face: [with first real smile]: Actually, I’d like to question the two of you together.
Quatro: [looking at TPK in panic] Um, okay, then maybe Tenzil, I mean Mr. Kem, can
go get her. I think she said she was going to the restroom. The um men’s restroom, you
know, because of her, you know, disease. She um she usually uses the second stall. On
the right. Um, her habit, you know.
Squid-Face smirks as TPK runs out. Minutes pass. Quatro shifts uncomfortably in his
seat. The judge hums Katrina’s big musical number. Finally, the courtroom door opens,
and “Katrina” steps in. The wig is askew, and the bedsheet is inelegantly wrapped. In the
doorway, she points urgently at her pinkish-white skin until Quatro notices, and suddenly
her skin takes on a darker hue. She walks to the front of the courtroom, directing a wink
at Quatro who is covering his face with one of his functional hands.
Katrina: [in a worse Indian accent than before] Brilliant but humble attorney-in-law
Kem had to use the facilities too. He might be a while.
Squid-Face: That’s not a problem. I’m sure he’s with us in spirit. Now, “Dr. Gupta,”
would you tell us how you feel about Mr. Rud’s relationship with Miss Tinelli?
Katrina: Oh, it is quite understandable. I try to be a good wife to him but there is only so
much I can do. A man as manly as him has needs.
Squid-Face: Mr. Rud, is this true? Is Dr. Gupta truly unable to meet your needs?
Quatro: Well, I know she tries, you know. But she just spends so much time doin’
SCIENCE. It’s hard, you know. If she just spent time less time doin’ LAW, I mean
SCIENCE, maybe I wouldn’t feel so ignored.
Katrina: I’ll remind you that me doing SCIENCE is what puts food on the table.
Quatro: You call that food? You wonder why I’m so skinny, it’s because there’s no
decent food . . . REAL food . . . in the house. And I’ll remind you that I work too.
Katrina: You call that work? Going into someone’s house and just changing the color of
everything?
Quatro: [in normal voice] It’s called interior decorating, and just because you have no
taste . . .
Katrina: [also in normal voice] Taste? You call making the Minister of Food Export’s
bathroom puce and orange plaid tasteful?
Quatro: Plaid is in.
Katrina: Plaid hasn’t been in for two hundred years! It’s a good thing I’m such a good
attorney-in-law, I mean scientist, or the minister would have sued you.
Quatro: “Minister of Food Exports”? Hah, on any planet other than Bismoll, he’d be
called a garbage collector! And you’re not even an attorney!
Katrina: I’m an attorney-IN-LAW.
Quatro: Oh, because your brother’s wife is an actual attorney? When was the last time
you had a client that you were able to collect credits from?
Katrina: Once this case ends, we’ll be rolling in it.
Quatro: Rolling in something, you mean. I can’t believe I even let you talk me into this. I
sometimes wish we had never gotten married at that ancient-monster-themed chapel on
Ventura. Just because you wanted a skyscraper wedding cake. That I couldn’t even eat!
Katrina: [accepts Omnicom from Squid-Face and looks down at the screen] Well, that’s
easily enough solved. According to Venturan law code, section 459, paragraph 825,
subsection K5.3, all I have to do is say “I divorce you,” and it’s over. So I divorce you.
Quatro: [gasps and starts to cry] I can’t believe you did that.
Squid-Face: [triumphantly] Given what we have just witnessed, your honor, it seems as
if Dr. Gupta and Mr. Rud are no longer wed by the laws of Ventura. Which means there
is no bigamy objection to Mr. Rud marrying Miss Tinelli. I request that you so rule.
Judge: So ruled. With the heartbreaking yet legal separation of Mr. Rud from Dr. Gupta,
there is no impediment to his wedding with Miss Tinelli. This hearing is over.
Katrina: Well, sprock.

The holovid ends.

d20 skill mechanic Inspired by Gumshoe system

I MOSTLY play d20 based RPGs (shut up, I know I'm behind on transcribing). It's not because it's my favourite system, it's because that has the settings I like and what has the most source material released for it.

Anyway, as I was listening to Ken and Robin Talk about Stuff I got to thinking about what the Gumshoe system brings to roleplaying games - that is, you don't gate clues to a skill check. If you have the skill and the clue is there, you get it. Furthermore, if you want MORE information than a basic "I know about this" brings, you can spend an investigation point to allow you to get MORE information. If there isn't more, you don't lose the point. I've played a little bit with some of the concepts "I want you to get this plot point" when the players need the Clue-by-Four to get the information.

There is a Pelgrane Press supplement Lorefinder that does a great job of bringing Gumshoe into d20. Sadly, it has some limitations when applying to anything but vanilla Pathfinder. If you want to use it but a player wants to play a Gunslinger, you have to rebuild the class from scratch. Heck, if you want to do this in Starfinder or Mutants and Masterminds - you have even more building to do.

Since every d20 game I've been playing of late has a Bennie/Action Point/Hero Point mechanic introduced by the GM (My Pathfinder game uses Eberron's Action point/Mutants and Masterminds uses the Hero Point/when I run PF, I use the Heroe points in Advanced Player's Guide), I figured one could tack on the following house rule for skills.

Optional Skill usage:

When a player invokes an Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma based skill, they are automatically assumed to have taken 10 on the role. If the player wishes to improve this, they may take 20 by spending a "bennie". The time taken to use the skill doesn't increase. If taking 20 doesn't provide more information, then the bennie is not lost.

In this case, the GM isn't needlessly gating the information AND it still provides an incentive to raise a skill.

Caveats to rule:

1. The GM CAN apply these to physical attribute based skills.

2. The GM doesn't have to apply this rule if it doesn't help the story.

3. If your game uses "bennies", this increases the reasons to use the bennie. The GM should increase the number of bennies provided to allow for this.

4. You need buy in from your group.

5. This is not for use while in Combat. Pathfinder allows you to make knowledge checks during combat to identify qualities of monsters. I don't think this usage fits for this mechanic. Note, however, I'm not a professional game designer, so YMMV.

In Pathfinder/Starfinder, I was thinking of starting with 5+(Current level/2 round up) number of bennies every time the character levels. This may or may not be enough. This formula means you have 6 bennies at 1st level, 8 bennies at 5th level, 10 bennies at 10th level, etc.

I'll continue thinking about this and when I can start using it, I may change this up a bit.

P.S. if you like the rule - use it! Consider it OGL.

P.P.S If you REALLY like it, bring back Futurama.

Shattered Star - Into the Nightmare Rift - We got the Treasure!

Tryptic enters the lake to get the treasure. He carries out several treasure chests. The party inventories the items. This includes a chest that is of giant make that they give to Solacra as a thank you.

North-by the map is THRILLED that they found the treasure. Tryptic promises to carve a nice scroll case for him.

The party sets up camp for the night.

Tryptic is outside the hut with Solacra. They have a suspicious feeling that something is watching them at you for the whole night.

Tryptic hears something rummaging through the scrub in the leaves are on the ground. Suddenly, a black rabbit with a white unicorn horn coming out of middle of head jumps out. It looks around but generally ignores them. After a few moments, the rabbit looks up at Solacra and its eyes are bloodshot. It opens a mouth full of sharp teeth. It leaps at them and attacks. Solacra crushes it with her club.

The party continues travelling the next day until they enter the badlands near Giltspur. They encounter a fort with guardtowers being manned by giants. Solacra doesn’t want to engage in a battle and leaves. The party moves in and the giants attack with ballista, boulders, and mammoths they set on fire.

The party manages to defeat the giants that were outside and proceed in.

Inside, they encounter...

Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - The one where Katrina kills her parents

Alternate title: Super-Turtle isn't eligible to join the Legion of Super Pets as he doesn't wear the S-Shield

Dynasty transports the heroes (including her broth...wait sister Kylie??) and Quatro's father to the planet Tau-Ceti V to save her father, Herman Ramirez, from Phora. She uses a power to sense all of her relatives and locates closest relatives: Kylie next to her, her father on Tau Ceti V, a being on Earth, and another somewhere just on the limits of her perception somewhere in unidentified space.

At that same moment: there is a knock on the door, Quatro's omnicom beeps, and all of their flight-rings ring with an emergency signal.

There is a brilliant flash of green flame and the party arrives in the room where Phora and Dynasty's father are. The room is full of people. They notice two specific people in the room: a human wearing an elaborate turban and Hgllptx Bg, Jr. (who was NOT transported) ????

An enraged Phora is baring down on Dyansty's father. Katrina yells at him ordering him to stop and Quatro moves in to punch him but misses. However, Phora attacks Katrina sending her flying across the room.

Quatro Lad's father attempts to charm random woman (next to where Katrina lands).

Reflectakid uses their powers to create a duplicate images of Dynasty's father. Seeing this, Katrina uses her latent Derlin abilities to impersonate Dynasty's father.

As the battle with Phora continues, the message on the flight rings comes through from Timberwolf that Monel and UltraBoy are fighting each other at Legion HQ and "tearing the place apart".

HOWEVER, Ouro Rud (Quatro Lad's father) believes Katrina to be a man "moving in on his territory" and punches her. Katrina is further angered by this.

Skid uses his friction powers to slow Phora down and the fight continues.

Dynasty uses her powers to transport the fracas to Earth where she sensed "her bloodline" exhausting her and causing her to pass out. They appear in room with: Katrina's parents and Zsa Zsa Patil. Katrina is a little disoriented and further angered at seeing her parents talking with Zsa Zsa. She sends a message over the flight ring for the team to close their eyes and attempts an all-direction dazzling stunning blast in hopes of temporarily blinding everyone.

Quatro and Skid are uneffected (as they closed their eyes), but Reflectikid is dazzled. When the light fades, Phora has vanished.  Quatro's father moves in and hits on Zsa Zsa.

Zsa Zsa snaps her fingers and the rooms lighting is back to normal from Reflectakid's effects. The rest of the group gets ready if Phora reappears.

Katrina reverts to her normal appearance and tries to kick Quatro's father in the groin in anger (for being an idiot and hitting her) but only hitting his leg.

Quatro tries to grab Zsa Zsa but his hands go right through her as if she was insubstantial.

Zsa Zsa starts berating and insulting the heroes. She reveals that she is training him to be a member of Nagini. Zsa Zsa says that Phora clearly considered her to be more of a mother than Katrina had ever been. She condescendingly tells them to leave.

Herman suddenly screams and falls over clutching his head. Skid checks and sees blood coming out of his ears. He sees a "wasp-like" creature.

Katrina turns to her parents demanding why Zsa Zsa was there.  Katrina's parents go on to accuse her of being an ungrateful child who doesn't care about her family. Katrina is dumbfounded at this and her eyes go cold as something inside her snaps...

Ouro sits down next to Katrina's father and says "Hey! We're family!"

After orders from Zsa Zsa they realize the wasp is Phora. Skid tries to grab the wasp with his tweezers. Reflectakid attempts to stun Phora with a flash.

Katrina goes over to Ouro and her parents. She raises her hands and incinerates them. She takes off her Legion ring and flies away.

Skid works on healing Herman and a version of Dynasty suddenly appears standing there (next to her unconscious body). The duplicate Dynasty assesses the situation.

Zsa Zsa continues to taunt Quatro until he can plan his next action.

The wasp in Herman's ear flies out, turns into a large snake, only to be blocked by a green shield summoned by duplicate Dynasty.  The snake reverts to being Phora.

Dynasty attempts to sap Zsa Zsa's will magically. Zsa Zsa vanishes revealing A BIG GREEN FLOATING EYEBALL (it's Dynasty's removed eye from earlier).

Meanwhile, Katrina flies in a daze. She gets turned around in the room and finds herself back into the room. Her parents and Quatro's father are sitting there as if nothing had happened.

Quatro attacks Phora and beats him down.

Zsa Zsa reappears and the eye disappears. She is obviously confused and then vanishes.

Dynasty joins in the attack against Phora. Their combined attack they disable him.

With combat finished, Dynasty's duplicate vanishes.

Katrina's mother asks her what happened, to which she replies (unaccented), "Don't ever speak to me again."

Skid wakes Dynasty, temporarily, and they fly back to Katrina's lab.

Katrina performs some temporal scans, but doesn't detect any unusual chronal energies on Dynasty. Dynasty theorizes that the eye is the Emerald Empress.

Timberwolf updates the group with what happened with the fight between Mon-El and Ultra-Boy.

Skid goes to check on Ultra Boy. Dynasty follows to allow her to recover under medical supervision.

Katrina examines Phora. He was wearing a nipple-ring (gift from Zsa Zsa) that was made from Atmospherium.

Shattered Star - Into the Nightmare Rift - I would back you up, Wil, but you didn't back me up about the dolphins

Image from my colonoscopy

The whispering turns out to be strange being of eyes and tentacles coming out of the tower to attack the heroes. A battle ensues. The party is badly beaten, but the flying polyp chooses not to press it's attack and it flies away. In the process, Jazeem falls into the water.

Jazeem comes out of the water, and seems somewhat unaffected. The party heals and returns to the shore. They divide the items they found and continue.

In their travel they encounter a cloud giant examining some ruins. He warns them away, but the heroes indicate they are not interested in what he is working on. They talk with him, but a fight doesn't ensue. His name is Syboroth. Morrigan is very careful to not reveal why they are there nor reveal what is going on. She mentions the locations they've been in general, but carefully omitting references to the Runelords. She references Stormreach and Fog Lake. Syboroth points out that the spires, like the one in Fog Lake, are prisons of beings aligned with the daelkyr.

The party continues.

As they continue, Wil notices they are surrounded by a large group of monkeys. They approach and Jazeem greets them. They do understand common. Jazeem inadvertently scares them away.

They make camp for the night and Solacra indicates she further feels they are being watched at night.

As they see the monkey's continue to follow them.

Because Jim named it "Ted"

The party is attacked by strange jackal like creatures. Morrigan theorizes they were ones regular jackals that had been mutated by the strong magics of Xen'drik. The jackals flee, and the party sees that they were standing over the bodies of serpentfolk. They find an alchemical beetle. Tryptic reactivates it.

While they continue to travel North-By jumps out of the bag and directs them to the lake where the treasure guarded by the half-dragon dire crocodile.

They arrive at the lake. North-By points out that the treasure is IN the lake. Jazeem proceeds to make chicken noises to lure the crocodile out. Battle ensues and the crocodile eventually surrenders and dives beneath the water.

Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - And then this message from Earth arrives.

To: LSH-ALL, LSHACADEMY-ALL
From: TPK@TPKattorney-in-law.org.up
Subject: Hearing

Qar, Qatrina:

Since neither of you showed up at the appointed time, I had to improvise. I’m attaching a holovid of the hearing. We almost had it, but McCauley’s lawyer is GOOD! Time for Plan L, I guess. I’m not sure where to find all the bananas though. But I’ll work it out. That’s what you’re paying me for. Ding.

TPK

PS: I don’t have your individual hyperspace e-addresses, so I just sent this to the LSH and Academy lists, figuring you’d get it that way.

PPS: I’m going to have to bill you for all the props. But don’t worry, I got most of them off space-bay. The doll was a little pricey though since it’s a collector’s item. If you have any yourself, now might be the time to unload them.

PPPS: A holovid producer saw this and now is giving me my own show! Score!

Ding.

[attached: Holovid.pe file 298tb]

For primitive computing devices incapable of running 3-D holovid files with 2098tb memory, a transcript is provided below.

In a small courtroom, two tables face the judge’s bench. Behind one table is a sour-faced human male with a black briefcase. Behind the other is Tenzil P. Kem, his feet up on the table as he tosses lugnuts into the air and catches them in his mouth.

Judge: Mr. Kem, your witness is late. If she doesn’t appear, I’ll have to render my decision without hearing from her.

TPK: Don’t worry, your honorship. I’m sure she’ll be here any moment. As a Legionnaire, she sometimes get caught up in various galaxy-saving efforts.

McCauley’s lawyer [hereafter called Squid-Face, but not because he has a literal squid-face (not that there’s anything wrong with that)]: Your honor, I still maintain that this hearing isn’t even necessary. My client is . . .

Squid-Face is interrupted by the door to the courtroom opening. He, TPK, and the half-dozen observers turn to look. The Legionnaire Dawnstar struggles to get her wings through the doorway. Well, not really Dawnstar. More like a bad 1970s-Cher impersonator in an askew wig with fake wings only halfway connected to her back. Actually not even a “her” based on the facial stubble and prominent Adam’s apple.

“Dawnstar”: I’m ooof I’m here, your honor.

TPK: [shaking head and hissing loudly] Wrong Indian. The dot kind, not the feather kind.

“Dawnstar”: [looking surprised] Oh, sorry. Er, wrong courtroom.

“She” turns to leave, but steps on one of her wings, pulling it off her back and throwing her off-balance enough that she falls face-first out the door. She crawls the rest of the way out, dragging the wing, and the door closes again.

Squid-Face: [looking pained] Your honor, it’s already obvious given my opponent’s . . .reputation . . . that this whole hearing will be a farce. I request that you just render your decision without any further delay.

Judge: Mr. Kem?

TPK: Your honorific, my witness will be here any moment. In fact, I’m positive she’s in the building already. Probably just freshening up. You know, putting on her best face for the court.

Another few minutes pass, with TPK popping lugnuts, Squid-Face shuffling through papers in his briefcase, and the judge happily humming to himself. Finally the door opens again, and Katrina Gupta enters. Well, “Katrina Gupta.” It appears to be the same person that was in the Dawnstar costume, with the same bad wig, darker skin, and a decorative bedsheet wrapped around “her” in a style akin to a frat-boy’s toga. Upon closer inspection, the bedsheet is emblazoned with characters from Legion Academy Babies. TPK coughs and points to his own forehead. “Katrina” puts a finger to her forehead. When she pulls it away, there’s a red dot over the bridge of her nose. She walks, with some difficulty because of the trailing bedsheet, to the front of the courtroom and takes a seat next to the judge’s bench. Squid-Face looks on in disbelief.

Katrina: [in faux Indian accent] Oh, I am sorry I am late. There was, um, a traffic jam above the Ganges that I got caught in.

Judge: Bailiff, will you swear in the witness?

Bailiff: [approaching Katrina with an Omnicom.] Do you swear to tell . . .

Katrina: [waving the bailiff off] I will not swear by one of your soulless modern creations. I will only swear to one of the sacred deities of my people.

TPK: [from under the table he pulls out a four-armed purple figure with an elephant’s trunk stuck to the middle of its face. It appears to be a Legion Academy Babies Foursie doll, modified. He brings it to Katrina and holds it up before her.] I happen to have one here.

Katrina: [places her hands together in front of her chest and bows to the figure] I swear to holy Ganeshiva that I will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. May Ganeshiva strike me down on the spot if I am lying. [She nervously looks upward and sighs when nothing happens.]

Squid-Face: Your honor, this is ridiculous. This isn’t even a real woman!

Katrina: [angrily, her faux accent becoming even stronger] How dare you! I am currently suffering from Grandin Gender-Reversal Disease and will thank you not to call attention to my affliction. I am still all woman!

TPK: [sticks tongue out at Squid-Face before turning back to Katrina] And may I say that you are bearing up wonderfully. That is a lovely dress.

Katrina: Sari.

TPK: [louder] I said, that’s a lovely dress!

Katrina: Sari.

TPK: THAT’S A LOVELY DRESS!

Katrina: [confused] Um, thank you.

TPK: Please confirm, is your name Dr. Katrina Gupta?

Katrina: That is the name I use when I perform SCIENCE. But in my heart, I think of myself as Mrs. Qar Rud.

TPK: Well then, Mrs. Rud, this hearing is to establish your relationship with Mr. Qar Rud, better known as Quatro Lad.

Katrina: He is my one true love.

TPK: But we need to establish your legal relationship to him. Are you his wife?

Katrina: That is how I think of myself.

TPK: [smugly, to Squid-Face] Your witness.

Squid-Face: [steps up to the witness stand] Dr. Gupta, or whoever you really are, have you and Mr. Rud ever had a marriage ceremony?

Katrina: Only between the sheets.

Squid-Face: [looking pained] But no actual, legal, ceremony. With witnesses and vows and a presiding judge.

Katrina: Not as such, but that’s just a technicality. I still think of myself as his wife.

Squid-Face: It’s not a “technicality,” it’s the law. I’m done here. [he returns to his table.]

TPK: Ah, but Mrs. Rud, you have property holdings on Ventura, do you not?

Katrina: I do, inherited from my late husband, my last one, dear Vid Gupta.

TPK: And you have a child together with Mr. Rud, do you not?

Katrina: We do. Dear little . . . um . . . dear little . . . baby.

TPK: And according to Venturan law code, section 453, paragraph 2048, subsection J9.5, any individual who is a property owner on Ventura and has a child with another individual, they shall be considered common-law spouses with all rights and responsibilities to each other. [to the judge] You can look that up. So we see that Dr. Gupta is entitled to call herself, and IS in fact of law, Mrs. Qar Rud.

Squid-Face: [rising] And where is this baby of yours, Dr. Gupta? Surely you didn’t leave him unattended somewhere?

Katrina: [indignant, her faux accent again strengthening] Of course not! I would never leave my darling . . . baby alone! He is . . . is . . . [sees TPK gesturing at the figure of Ganeshiva he’s still holding] . . . with his Uncle Tenzil!

TPK holds up the Foursie doll, hastily pulling off the elephant trunk and hiding it behind his back. He tosses the doll to Katrina, who barely catches it by one arm, slamming it into the side of the judge’s bench before nestling it in her lap.

Katrina: Baby loves spending time with Uncle Tenzil. Oh, I think the poor dear is hungry. [She pulls down an edge of the bedsheet, exposing a hairy nipple which she mashes the doll’s face against.]

Squid-Face: [pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers] Oh, for . . . “Dr. Gupta,” what is the baby’s name?

Katrina: His name? Um, his name. His name. His name is . . . [looks at TPK, who is holding up four fingers] . . . is . . . Foursie! [TPK shakes his head.]

Squid-Face: I believe you’re confusing your baby with the character in Legion Academy Babies based on Quatro Lad. You know, the one all over the bedsheet you’re wearing.

Katrina: Sari.

TPK: [loudly] He said Foursie is on your dress. [in normal voice] And of course what Mrs. Rud means to say is that “Foursie” is the baby’s nickname, based on her husband’s name on that holocartoon. It’s only natural that “Foursie” be used as a shortening of the baby’s name, Phora.

Katrina: Yes, that is exactly what I meant.

Squid-Face: Your honor, please, can we put an end to this farce?

Katrina: [angrily] Farce? My love for Qar and my baby Foursie-Phora is no farce. Let me tell you how much I love my husband.

Katrina stands, and TPK hits a button on his Omnicom. Hindi music starts playing, and Katrina whirls around and begins to sing and dance. The words are in a foreign language, but there are Interlac subtitles as she sings about how much she loves Qar.

The observers in the courtroom fall in behind her, matching her dance moves perfectly.

Despite the unheard objections of Squid-Face, the judge himself gets up and joins the dance. Rays of color, seemingly coming from Katrina’s hands, spray out everywhere as the crowd swirls and undulates.

Five minutes later, the dance continues as Katrina sings about how happy and loved Qar makes her feel, and how the gods smile upon their union. TPK sways on the sidelines, holding baby Phora and twirling him around. In the background, a grumpy Squid-Face appears to be checking his messages on his Omnicom.

Ten minutes later, the dance continues, with more spectators from outside coming in so that dozens of people are dancing. Squid-Face is eating a Winathian chicken wrap from his briefcase.

Five minutes after that, the dance finally ends. Squid-Face looks up from his Omnicom in surprise as the music ends and everyone returns to their seats. Katrina turns to him.

Katrina: [in thick accent] And THAT is how much I love him.

Squid-Face: [dryly] So noted. Judge Whopnir, don’t you think we should speak to Mr. Rud himself now?

TPK: Ah, yes. He’s waiting right outside. Dr. Gupta, would you be so kind as to fetch your husband.

Katrina: Oh yes. I will do that right now.

Katrina hastens from the room, tripping over her bedsheet. Minutes pass as Squid-Face drums his fingers on the desk. Finally the door to the room opens again, and a four-armed man enters. He has the same dark skin coloration as Katrina, and two of his arms flop limply. Squid-Face rolls his eyes.

TPK: [hissing] Purple.

“Quatro Lad” opens his eyes wide and looks at himself. Suddenly, his entire body turns purple. The Ghoran observer in the courtroom begins laughing hysterically. Quatro Lad struts to the front of the courtroom, his lower arms swinging about like tubing with gloves on the ends. He sits at the witness stand, and the bailiff approaches with an Omnicom. He raises one hand and then uses his other good hand to raise the lower hand.

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, according to the Constitution and governing documents of the United Planets.

“Quatro”: [in heavy Rimborian accent] That ain’t the kinda swearin’ I’m used to, but sure, why the sprock not?

TPK: Would you state your name for the court?

Quatro: Some people call me a space cowboy. Some call me a gangster of love. Some people call me Qar Rud, ‘cause I speak of the Pompatus of Love. Hey, why does Katrina get to do alla the singin’, you know?

TPK: Mr. Rud, can you describe your relationship with Dr. Katrina Gupta?

Quatro: Not in public, I can’t. [elbows judge] You know what I mean?

TPK: You enjoy an . . . intimate relationship with her then.

Quatro: Yeah, I enjoy the hell of out of it. So does she. I mean, look at me. [points at his chest with two thumbs] How could she not?

TPK: And she is the mother of your child?

Quatro: Yeah, she’s my baby mama. Hey, where’s the little tyke at? Come see daddy, little . . . Phoursia.

TPK tosses the baby to Quatro, who misses it. It crashes into the wall behind him, but Quatro just reaches around and picks it up by one arm.

Quatro: Ah, the little’s guy’s Quatro tough, just like his old man. [He tosses the doll up and catches it a few times, but it suddenly begins to emit a greenish-brown sludge from its bottom.] [in normal voice] Oh, grife. You got the kind with Real Pooping Action.

Quatro hastily tosses the doll toward Squid-Face, who instinctively catches it and within seconds is covered in the toxic brown sludge. Squid-Face throws it toward TPK, who just lets it drop to the floor before reaching down and scooping up a fingerful of the sludge.

TPK: [tasting the sludge] Mmm, Venusian peanut butter and anti-gravitic brake fluid. Interesting combination. [to Squid-Face] Your witness.

Squid-Face: [looking pained as he tries to wipe the sludge off his face and expensive suit] Mr. Rud, if you are in a common-law marriage with Dr. Katrina Gupta, then why did you enter into a relationship with my client’s niece, Miss Margi Tinelli?

Quatro: [in Rimborian accent again] Hey, there’s more than enough of me to share. If you know what I mean. [elbows judge]

Squid-Face: And Dr. Gupta doesn’t mind?

Quatro: Nah, as much of a tigress as she is in the sack, she knows she’s not enough to satisfy me. Like they say, four arms, no waiting. [With his two real hands he makes squeezing motions while he hops up and down in his seat to make the two lower hands flop about.]

Squid-Face: Such an understanding wife. [to judge] Your honor, I would like to re-question Dr. Gupta.

Judge: I’ll allow it.

Quatro: [awkwardly] Oh, um, ok. I’ll go get her. [He stands.]

Squid-Face: [with first real smile]: Actually, I’d like to question the two of you together.

Quatro: [looking at TPK in panic] Um, okay, then maybe Tenzil, I mean Mr. Kem, can go get her. I think she said she was going to the restroom. The um men’s restroom, you know, because of her, you know, disease. She um she usually uses the second stall. On the right. Um, her habit, you know.

Squid-Face smirks as TPK runs out. Minutes pass. Quatro shifts uncomfortably in his seat. The judge hums Katrina’s big musical number. Finally, the courtroom door opens, and “Katrina” steps in. The wig is askew, and the bedsheet is inelegantly wrapped. In the doorway, she points urgently at her pinkish-white skin until Quatro notices, and suddenly her skin takes on a darker hue. She walks to the front of the courtroom, directing a wink at Quatro who is covering his face with one of his functional hands.

Katrina: [in a worse Indian accent than before] Brilliant but humble attorney-in-law Kem had to use the facilities too. He might be a while.

Squid-Face: That’s not a problem. I’m sure he’s with us in spirit. Now, “Dr. Gupta,” would you tell us how you feel about Mr. Rud’s relationship with Miss Tinelli?

Katrina: Oh, it is quite understandable. I try to be a good wife to him but there is only so much I can do. A man as manly as him has needs.

Squid-Face: Mr. Rud, is this true? Is Dr. Gupta truly unable to meet your needs?

Quatro: Well, I know she tries, you know. But she just spends so much time doin’ SCIENCE. It’s hard, you know. If she just spent time less time doin’ LAW, I mean SCIENCE, maybe I wouldn’t feel so ignored.

Katrina: I’ll remind you that me doing SCIENCE is what puts food on the table.

Quatro: You call that food? You wonder why I’m so skinny, it’s because there’s no decent food . . . REAL food . . . in the house. And I’ll remind you that I work too.

Katrina: You call that work? Going into someone’s house and just changing the color of everything?

Quatro: [in normal voice] It’s called interior decorating, and just because you have no taste . . .

Katrina: [also in normal voice] Taste? You call making the Minister of Food Export’s bathroom puce and orange plaid tasteful?

Quatro: Plaid is in.

Katrina: Plaid hasn’t been in for two hundred years! It’s a good thing I’m such a good attorney-in-law, I mean scientist, or the minister would have sued you.

Quatro: “Minister of Food Exports”? Hah, on any planet other than Bismoll, he’d be called a garbage collector! And you’re not even an attorney!

Katrina: I’m an attorney-IN-LAW.

Quatro: Oh, because your brother’s wife is an actual attorney? When was the last time you had a client that you were able to collect credits from?

Katrina: Once this case ends, we’ll be rolling in it.

Quatro: Rolling in something, you mean. I can’t believe I even let you talk me into this. I sometimes wish we had never gotten married at that ancient-monster-themed chapel on Ventura. Just because you wanted a skyscraper wedding cake. That I couldn’t even eat!

Katrina: [accepts Omnicom from Squid-Face and looks down at the screen] Well, that’s easily enough solved. According to Venturan law code, section 459, paragraph 825, subsection K5.3, all I have to do is say “I divorce you,” and it’s over. So I divorce you.

Quatro: [gasps and starts to cry] I can’t believe you did that.

Squid-Face: [triumphantly] Given what we have just witnessed, your honor, it seems as if Dr. Gupta and Mr. Rud are no longer wed by the laws of Ventura. Which means there is no bigamy objection to Mr. Rud marrying Miss Tinelli. I request that you so rule.

Judge: So ruled. With the heartbreaking yet legal separation of Mr. Rud from Dr. Gupta, there is no impediment to his wedding with Miss Tinelli. This hearing is over.

Katrina: Well, sprock.

The holovid ends.

Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - Have you heard the good news about Howard?

Shortened notes to try to catch up.

Just as the party is settling down at the table to talk, the Ventura sisters showed up pointing guns at Quatro. They fire an electrified net at Quatro and successfully entangle him. They attempt to leave when the party gets involved in the fracas.

During the fight Power Boy is distraught as Ultra Boy vanishes.

Combat results in the party defeating the sisters who escape. Quatro attempts to pursue them. The Ventura security drones arrive. Kyle, Dynasty’s brother, was injured in the fight, but Skid healed him.

The security drones attack our heroes. Quatro returns and takes out the drones. One of the drones goes flying and just misses Hgllptx Bg, Jr who happens to be standing there.

Dynasty goes over to Power Boy and sees that, not only is Ultra Boy missing, but there is a pile of black powder.

Kid Skid is approached by a being dressed in “wood face” asking if he wanted to hear about the good news of “Howard” (see Who’s Who).

Dynasty explains to Power Boy that Ultra boy was a “Mantis Morlo” clone.

The heroes escapes into the casino. They notice that there is signage promoting a new game called ‘Snell Station’.

Guards enter the room and the heroes realize they need to leave. They go to Power Boy’s apartment. On the way, they see a lot of graffiti for the "Golden Wolves".

At Power Boy's apartment, the party talks. Kid Skid gets a message from his mother saying he is neglecting his brother. Cad has been "banned" from earth due to his criminal activity with Phora on Earth.

They manage to decrypt the messages from Phora and they discover a lot of communication between him and "Z.Z.P." From the messages, they are corrupting him by suggesting he commit some petty crimes and sends him 'a gift'. Finally, ZZP indicates they have a job for Phora to kill Dynasty's father.

The party leaves for Tau Ceti V to stop him.

Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - Daily Planet - Ventura Edition 21 August 2986

Lifestyle

The Ventura Sisters talk about Pflx Rambo

Donna: What’s to say? He was Pflx Rambo.

Etta: There’s a lot to say. He was Pflx Rambo after all. He worked his way up through all the best crime families until he was head of the biggest casino on Ventura. And stayed alive through all of it.

Donna: Well, until he didn’t.

Etta: True. But he survived longer than anyone else would have in that situation.

Donna: How old was he anyway?

Etta: Nobody knows. Even his authorized biographies, of which there were 23 at last count, disagree. It seems as if he told a different story to everyone he talked to about his life.

Donna: An intergalactic man of mystery.

Etta: Well, we think he was a man anyway. Or at least a male. He presented as male, but nobody could figure out what species he was, much less what gender.

Donna: To hear his longtime secretary, Mona Climaxia, talk about him, he was ALL male, if you know what I mean. Hung like a Rimborian with the lasting power of a sleeping Zwenite.

Mona Climaxia grieving Pflx Rambo’s death. Her blue
hair represents her sadness. The water represents
her tears. Her breasts represent the milk of sentient
kindness that was Pflx Rambo.

Etta: Let’s talk about Mona for a second. She seemed to be the one constant throughout most of his life. Wherever Pflx was, Mona was by his side.

Donna: Or underneath him. Or straddling him. Or wrapped around him like a drunk Durlan.

Etta: She IS flexible. And since his death, she’s taken over operations of the Golden Stardust, running all aspects of the casino. She’s also overseeing the team upgrading Snell Station. That’s a lot.

Donna: Not just that, but she now serves on all the charitable boards that he used to. Like War Orphans for Pflx Rambo, which last year arranged for millions of orphans from around the UP to collect funds to buy him a new Ultradeluxe Hoverchair 5000 with Genuine Lightning Beast Hide after his old one got a spot on it.

A group of War Orphans for Pflx Rambo listening to
the inspirational speech of Pflx Rambo telling them
that they, too, might someday have a charitable
foundation in their name, but probably not because they’re
just a bunch of orphans who will never amount to anything.

Etta: That was so touching. Did you see their tears when he gave each of them a 25% off coupon for their next Pflx Rambo Burger at all Golden Stardust food dispensaries?

Donna: Truly he was so generous. The UP lost a great sentientarian when he died.

Etta: We got off topic. We were talking about Mona Climaxia. Do you think she’ll ever be able to find love again?

Donna: Well, if rumors are to be believed, and when aren’t they, she already has! She’s been seen consorting with her new private secretary, a handsome stud who’s been working her for a couple months now. I mean, working for her.

Who is this mysterious stallion of a
male sentient who even dares to try to
take Pflx Rambo’s place between Mona
Climaxia’s thighs?

Etta: He must be truly impressive if he can satisfy her like Pflx Rambo did.

Donna: I’m not sure anybody could EVER replace Pflx Rambo, but I bet he does what he can. As long as Mona’s happy.

Etta: So the Pflx Rambo Memorial Festival is starting soon, and you and I have the distinct privilege of being among the stellar talent performing in honor of our fallen hero.

Donna: We do. I believe we go on right after the acts from the Bacard Barley Traveling Space Circus on the 4th day of the Festival. Have you been practicing your juggling?

Etta: You know I have. The cuts on my legs prove it. But that won’t be our only contribution to the festival, will it, Donna?

Donna: No, it won’t. Through perseverance and skilled detective work, we have discovered who’s responsible for Pflx Rambo’s death, and we’ll be revealing that!

Etta: And for you, our loyal readers, here’s a little hint:

This sentient is responsible for the murder of Pflx Rambo! We’ll reveal her identity during our performance
at the Pflx Rambo Memorial Festival. Who could she be?

Donna: Be sure to set your holorecorders for our revelation! That’s all for now!

• Odds that Pflx Rambo is still dead: 1:1
• Odds that Mona Climaxia’s new lover can live up to Pflx Rambo: 7,800,982:1
• Odds that a bloodthirsty mob will rip Pflx Rambo’s murderer to pieces: 5:2

Public Service Announcement

VENTURA MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY CLOSED

Due to crowds and riots around the museum within the Pulsar Quasar Casino, the entire floor of the casino has been closed until further notice. Sentients are advised to avoid the area until Science Police drones can disperse the mob.

Security

LEGIONNAIRES TO PROVIDE SECURITY AT PFLX RAMBO FESTIVAL

by M’*aison Pier&e

With record crowds of billions of sentients from across the United Planets expected at the Pflx Rambo Memorial Festival, the Science Police has announced that members of the Legion of Super-Heroes will provide additional security at the event. It has been confirmed that Legionnaires Shrinking Violet, Magnetic Kid, Tellus, and Invisible Kid will aid the dozen Science Police officers and hundreds of SP drones that will be patrolling the festival. More Legionnaires will be added if needed, the SP verifies.

Emotions are sure to be high during the festival, celebrating the life and mourning the death of noted casino owner Pflx Rambo, who was assassinated in his private office in the Golden Stardust Casino almost three months ago. The killer has yet to be caught.

Celebrities from across the galaxy will be attending the festival, with many of them scheduled to perform. Fans are speculating that the Legionnaires will be providing not just security but entertainment as well. Might Magnetic Kid treat audiences to a striptease while Invisible Kid sings the Braalian blues? Or could Shrinking Violet and Tellus act out the death scene from Romeo & Juliet Part 8: The Quickening? Although the latter is admittedly unlikely since manatees are banned on Ventura. We’ll just have to wait and see!

Reports are that Magnetic Kid (Pol Krinn of Braal) is in the running for Sexiest Male Sentient, Humanoid
Legionnaire Division. A striptease at the festival would surely bring him more votes!

Shattered Star - Into the Nightmare Rift - Welcome to the Jungle

This is your first thought as Stormreach comes into view: The city has been destroyed by some terrible disaster. You see crumbling walls and squat, shattered towers. Then a moment later, you realize how far you still are from the city, and you notice the smaller structures clustered around those broken foundations. These ruins must be the work of the giants, buildings that fell long before humans came to this land.

-- Secrets of Xen'drik pp 14

The party proceeds down to Stormreach on the ships boats. Tryptic tries to determine the size of market they can expect to find. He is not certain. The captain gives them some tips for what to purchase ahead of the expedition.

Jazeem tries to find information about local theater. He learns about The Chapterhouse.

Tryptic utterly fails to blend in and find items for trade that aren't available anywhere else.

Morrígan and Wil look for a guide and strikes up a conversation with the local rat-on-a-stick purveyer. He provides several possible areas where they can spend the night, "The Ship's Cat". He also advises either a drow or a giant from the outside camp for a guide.

Tryptic is approached by two warforged who direct him on how to better blend in and where to purchase: bug repellent, hammock tents, machetes, rations, and other jungle equipment they expect to require. Tryptic also finds a map store where he asks about maps for finding the Guiltspur. The shopkeeper steps away to look when one of the maps speaks to Tryptic and says to purchase him as he is a treasure map. Tryptic does.

Morrígan and Wil arrange for lodging at the "Ship's Cat" and then make their way to the tent city of the giants.

Jazeem finds his way to The Chapterhouse. He inquires about theatrical performances. He is given a playbill. (He is looking at musical theater as a second career after adventuring) However, the Chapterhouse doesn't have a great amount of actual musical theater. Mainly just light variety and occasional jugglers.

Jazeem meets up with Morrígan and Wil and they proceed to the tent city Rushemé. They encounter Gualronak talking to a stone giant woman. Morrígan, who speaks giant, discuss finding a guide. Morrígan notices that the stone giant woman is staring at Jazeem. Gualronak explains that a hill giant chieftain named Jubbek has taken over the area. The stone giant woman Solacra offers to help as a guide in return for an anvil (giant sized) for her family's forge. Morrígan agrees realizing that she can "order" one from Sharn to be brought back by the Golden Dragon. Morrígan asks Solacra about her looking at Jazeem and she quickly apologizes. They make their way back to the Golden Dragon.

The map is very eager to look for the treasure and tells his story to Tryptic. He was created by a pirate as to where his treasure is. However, the pirate died before being able to claim it. Tryptic continues shopping and purchases a Type 2 Bag of Holding. Tryptic purchases anything else that may be required.

The party meets up at the location where they disembarked. They talk to Captain Alistair where Morrígan asks him to bring the anvil. He agrees.

They also arrange to meet with Solacra the next day for the expedition. They all return to the Ship's Cat for dinner.

Afterwards, they talk to the map. The map is named North-by. The discussion with them reveals that it is indeed being truthful about it's motives BUT that the destination, Fog Lake, is guarded by a huge, monstrous crocodile-like creature that has draconic ancestry. Nevertheless, the party agrees to the detour.

The next day they prepare to set out and meet up with Solacra.

Before leaving, the map (who can teleport) and Morrígan make a point to memorize the main room of the Ship's Cat so they can more easily teleport back. She also casts comprehend languages on Jazeem and Solacra. They also purchase a nice scroll case for North-by. Morrígan teaches Solacra a few basic words in common. She also teaches Jazeem and Tryptic the equivalent words in giant.

The first day passes without incident and they set up camp for the night. Morrígan casts tiny hut for the party to camp in.

Solacra asks for a detour to the Silver Spire allow her to obtain some of the metal for her family to sell to House Cannith. They agree to this as well.

With some prodding, Solacra also reveals that she is smitten with Jazeem. Morrígan suggests that they each try to learn each other's language to get to know each other better as that would give them something in common and allow them to get to know each other better.

The next day they get to the lake. Solacra warns them that the lake is cursed and they must not touch the water. Using fly spells, everyone but Akeela flies to the island with the tower.

In front of it, there is a table. On it there are some ancient runes written in a Giant dialect:

"Blood Sacrifice Calls the Maker"

Using detect magic, they conclude the tower is some type of container and they should be able to open it.


They continue to examine the area and manage to activate  a mechanism revealing a metal cylinder coming out of the ground that allows access to a gem. Further, it allows Solacra to pick up the necessary chunk of metal she needs. The party continues working with the runes and reveal other cylinders with gems that they can take.

Upon getting the last gem, there is a hissing noise followed by whispering...

Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - Where in the U.P. is Phora?

Dynasty flies outside of the penthouse and attempts to scan Earth and surrounding space for Phora.

Inside the penthouse, Catd is playing Call of Duty with his online friend.  Catd says he's been playing for 43 hours straight and hasn't seen Phora in as much time. Catd is being very dismissive of his brother Skid and is only interested in playing video games.

At this moment, the group notices that the security defense grid has been activated. Reflecti-kid immediately throws up a reflective screen hiding them from detection. Katrina suggests they make their way to the entry foyer to disable the system. Catd complains that he doesn't want to move causing Kat to lose her temper and yell at him. They make their way to the foyer and Katrina uses her radiation abilities to cause a low level EMP to take out the security system.

Dynasty is unable to detect Phora. Catd becomes impatient and indicates that Phora was probably going to Ventura Prime. The group leaves to go to Legion HQ. Kat gets a message from Tenzil Kem, Attorney at Law!

It turns out that because Katrina still owns property on Ventura and because Qar and Katrina have a child, they are COMMON LAW MARRIED! This means Qar cannot get married again. Kat is apoplectic over this turn of events. 


Katrina indicates that she doesn't want to be married - So Tenzil says that he can work out a divorce/annulment for them.

Qar says that he has worked out the stuff with Margi. However, he can certainly help with the other issue.

The group returns to Legion HQ so they can get a cruiser to get them to Ventura. Dynasty checks her messages on the way back. One is from her Mother saying that she is looking forward to seeing her later for dinner.

They arrive, Dynasty goes to the mission monitor room to talk to Dream Girl. Dream Girl reminds her that she has monitor duty this evening. Dynasty sends a message to her mother in hopes of using this as an excuse of getting out of dinner.

Skid takes Catd to the holo-gym and creates a scenario to play in. Skid then sends a message to his mother saying that he got Catd and looks forward to seeing her.

Quatro tries to hack data from Phora's OmniCom again and manages to get in. He finds the bank withdrawals and a purchase of a high-end one-man space cruiser - Venusian Mazeratti 183. Further hacking reveals that he has been having some communications that are encrypted for the past six weeks. Quatro is unable to decrypt them.

Meanwhile, Reflectikid is trying to get an OmniCom. He starts looking around, however, he is unable to obtain one as he is lacking authorization. He asks Katrina for authorization and she grants it along with any other reasonable request he needs. Computo provides him with a introductory OmniCom.

Katrina is looking through her notes and journals to try to determine what the heck happened in this timeline that caused the falling out between her and Invisible Kid. She finds the syllabus she wrote, tests she gave, other missions they went on, and such. In reading the documents, she determines the notes have a similar tone to what she'd write, but a little off. Oddly though, the notes from the Science Police she received on her school terminal about Phora she simply marked as "ignore". Quatro sends her the encrypted communications but she is unable to decrypt them either.

They decide to ask Dream Girl for help. However, she indicates that she is better at biomedical. When they meet her, she is tired and Qar offers to give her a massage. They head to the gym, and they summon a massage table and Qar starts to work. She falls asleep while he works. After a few minutes, Dream Girl wakes and cries, "Dynasty! I have to talk to her!" and flies off.

Dream Girl gets to Dynasty, "Something is going to happen to your father. You have to get something from him in order to get him back. That's all I saw in my vision!" Dream Girl relieves her and Dynasty teleports home. Something seems wrong in the shadow dimension.

As Dynasty grabs something her father appears wondering what she's doing. This is odd because apparently she HAS been at dinner with them. She attempts to catch up with "herself" in the house, and finds more of the ashen dust similar to what they found in Katrina's office. She starts to analyze is as her father vanishes. Dynasty's mother and brother arrive and have no memory of her father.

Dynasty creates a green bubble around her and his shirt that she picked up to make sure it doesn't vanish. She scans the dust and determines a biological residue similar to what was left behind when the duplicate of her brother, Kyle, created by Mantis Morlo dissolved.

Her mother (who remembers the events in the time bubble), accuses her of not 'taking care of things' with Harmonia Li. To protect Kyle, Dynasty leaves with him and returns to Legion Headquarters so they can go to Ventura - where her father was going to go before he vanished.

They congregate at Legion HQ and get ready for take off. They check on the status of Mantis Morlo only to find the files are restricted. In comparing notes, they realise that a person who Kyle refers to as "Uncle D" is, in actuality, Universo. Katrina sends all of the scan information on the ash to Dream Girl as she is the biomedical expert. 

Just as they take off, Leland McCauley IV calls Qar. He asks Qar why "a four-armed quatro is in his penthouse". The party changes direction to Lakeopolis. Dynasty attempts to use her powers to allow her to read the encrypted messages but to no avail.

They all get together to try again but fail to decrypt it.

They arrive in Lakeopolis only to discover that Phora is NOT there. Qar calls Leland who indicates that he did NOT talk to him about Phora. Dynasty observes that every time they've tried to go to Ventura, something has interrupted them.

Dynasty gets a call from her father indicating everyone has left. Furthermore, her brother remembers their father as well.

They head to Ventura.

During the trip they try again to decrypt the messages and fail. Dynasty theorizes there is something going on with probability. After talking a bit, Kyle reveals that he'd met Morlo (in disguise) and manipulated his metagene. Skid scans him and reveals that Kyle now has an active metagene. Katrina attempts to analyze Kyle's metagene based on her experience with an inactive metagene.

At this moment I notice that the GM is surreptitiously rolling dice whenever we roll to accomplish something.

Skid manages to reach Chief Zendak about the status of Mantis Morlo. He was being transferred to labyrinth when someone broke him out. The powers looked similar to Shadow Lass. Dynasty speculates this is actually the work of Vandal Savage.

Katrina attempts to confirm if probability is being manipulated. Her Omni-Com fails. Next Katrina gets a coin and flips it several times with Dynasty calling "heads or tails". Out of 100 times, 97% of the time the coin is tails (with Dynasty always calling heads).

They arrive on Ventura Prime and attempt to find Phora. News reports indicate in the Stardust Casino there is a quatro going insane on the casino pool on floor 127. However, there is no record of Phora's ship having arrived.

The group splits up and tracks down the quatros.

Qar and Skid go to investigate the casino pool. Dynasty and Kyle investigate the gambling floors. Katrina and Reflectikid investigate one of the rooms.

Katrina manages to activate her previously latent derlin powers to look like Catd. They arrive at the room and are greeted by Qar's mother, Myrn Rud. She says she wants to meet Phora.

Qar and Skid arrive at the pool and find his father, Ouro Rud, is the being frolicing nude in the pool. He is overjoyed to see his son.

Dynasty fails to find Phora but sees Power Boy operating the holo-roulette table. Dynasty pulls him aside. Power Boy tells her that he will repay the debt - a debt that Dynasty isn't aware of. Dynasty catches him up about Phora when Skid and Katrina both call her to let her know what's going on. At that moment everyone at the roulette table loses confirming that Kyle likely has "misfortune" powers.

They all agree to meet at the employee dining hall. They meet. Qar thinks that the Golden Wolves are trying to entrap him by giving his parents the trip to Ventura. Katrina remember that she saw the future incarnation of Phora at a Golden Wolves bar.

Suddenly, the Ventura sisters appear and point guns at Qar.

Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - Letter to Dr. Katrina Gupta from Jacques Foccart

From the GM

Thank you for your message, mam’selle. I have prayed long for guidance on how to respond. I am hurt, but my faith teaches me to forgive, and so I will. I understand why you might want to be with, as you put it, “the most powerful man in the galaxy who is almost as proficient at Science” as you, rather than “the least powerful Legionnaire.” I just wish you had found a different way to express it. But that is water under the bridge, non? You are my teammate, and that will remain so. Perhaps one day we can even be friends again. In the meantime, I wish you well in your relationship with the President. I hope you are happy performing Science with him.

Legion of Superheroes - Season 3 - Daily Planet 20 August 2986

From our GM

Gossip

LOVE LETTERS IN THE SAND

by Lynda Mzjwsk

Dear readers, listeners, and feelers—I’ve entitled this column “Love Letters in the Sand” because of an experience I once had, one that all sentients capable of expressing love have probably had. Many years ago, when my tentacles were ripe and I still had all my suckers, I was madly in love and so wrote a tender ode to my beloved in the sand of the beach near where we lived. I swore that my love for him would last as long as that letter. You can guess what happened next. An SP drone came along, cited me for vandalism, and lasered away my letter. Meanwhile, my beloved was eaten by a Venusian blood whale and eventually excreted into the waters where we once frolicked.

And so I write today of how the love letters in the sand that you think are so permanent can so easily disappear as the suckers of love’s tentacles wither and fall off.

Let’s first turn to the Event of the Season—the double Legion wedding on Winath. So much joy, now turning sour. A rumor has reached me from inside Legion Academy that newlyweds Nightwind and Dynasty have already called it quits and plan to have the marriage annulled. Such a tragedy! Truly they were a beautiful couple, but their love letter was not to last. My source tells me that Dynasty told Nightwind that she no longer loves her and despite Nightwind’s desperate pleas has no intention of remaining in the marriage. Could this have anything to do with the return of longtime student Laurel Kent, who has been on Daxam for the past few months, recuperating from her injuries in the Universo Uprising? That scantily clad beauty could turn any sentient’s head or eyestalks, and rumor has it that Dynasty has longed for her since they first met. But Laurel Kent is reportedly dating Dynasty’s teammate Kid Skid. Oh what a tangled web of seaweed! I see many broken cardiovascular valves in this scenario.

Legion Academy temptress Laurel Kent

Things are no better for the other Legion couple married on Winath—Ultra Boy and Phantom Girl. Despite their longtime relationship, Ultra Boy was reportedly reluctant to commit to marriage, though he was all smiles at the ceremony, at least until the debacle with his best male sentient. Contrary to all expectation that he would choose Mon-El, his closest Legion friend, to serve, he instead chose Academy student Power Boy. But Power Boy fled in the middle of the ceremony, creating a scene that left Ultra Boy confused and Phantom Girl fuming. Why did Power Boy react so? Supposedly because he knew what I’m about to tell you now—that Ultra Boy was secretly in love with Mon-El’s true love, Shadow Lass! Power Boy couldn’t bear to go through with the duplicity of the ceremony and so left. Although the ceremony continued, reports from within Legion HQ have indicated that Ultra Boy and Phantom Girl have had many loud fights since then. Meanwhile, Mon-El has taken Shadow Lass far away from Earth and Ultra Boy. Coincidence? Not likely! More cardiovascular valves on the crushing block!

Legion hunk Ultra Boy preparing for his wedding

And finally one more romance that had flown under the holoradar but could be in trouble—dreamy Earth President Kel Wynters has reportedly wooed new Legionnaire Quantum Cat away from her teammate Invisible Kid. The latter two had attended Legion Academy Prom together this past spring and seemed to be tentatively starting a relationship. But then President Wynters swooped in to make Quantum Cat his new Minister of Science and sparks reportedly flew, leaving Invisible Kid on the outs. But now we hear that Quantum Cat stood President Wynters up after he reserved all of Metropolis’ fanciest restaurant just for the two of them. Could it be because she still has feelings for teammate Quatro Lad, who himself is engaged to Margi Tinelli but has been putting off the wedding for months? According to my source, Quantum Cat and Quatro Lad are still common-law spouses, which has complicated matters with both of their prospective partners.

Earth President Kel Wynters preparing to address the UP Council

All of these love letters in the sand, dear audience, are being metaphorically lasered out of existence! My remaining suckers pucker at the thought of all this unhappiness. Stay tuned for updates on these doomed romances!

Interplanetary

NEW LEGIONNAIRES SAVE BRAALIAN SOLAR CRUISE SHIP

by Jaymz Olsen

A quartet of the newest heroes to join the legendary Legion of Super-Heroes successfully rescued a crippled Braalian solar cruise ship and all sentients on board earlier today. The Faraday, in space for a close-up view of the solar flare storm raging on Braal’s sun, was disabled by one of the flares that was stronger than their shielding allowed for. The electromagnetic energies of the storm likewise temporarily shorted out the Braalian passengers’ natural magnetic powers, leaving them helpless as the ship was pulled in by the star’s gravity field. Fortunately, Dynasty, Kid Skid, Quatro Lad, and Quantum Cat were on hand to provide assistance.

Arriving in a green energy bubble of Dynasty’s making, the four Legionnaires quickly went to work. Quantum Cat, known for her amazing knowledge of Science, endeavored to repair the ship’s engines, while Dynasty hovered in space and deflected incoming solar flares. Meanwhile, Kid Skid moved among the passengers, helping the wounded and reassuring frightened children. Once the Faraday’s gravonomic engines were once again functional, Quatro Lad took the helm and safely piloted the ship back to Braal. Upon arriving on the planet’s surface, the four Legionnaires signed holoautographs and posed for holopics with the relieved passengers.

On board was former Magno Champion Tull Vrajj, who praised the valor of the four Legionnaires. “They were wonderific! I thought we were doomed for sure, but then the Legionnaires arrived. As a professional athlete, I wanted to help so I followed Quantum Cat to the engine room and handed her a magnometric wrench when she needed one. I even got a kiss from her as thanks! She’s now my favorite Legionnaire. Sorry, Pol!” he said, referencing Braalian native Pol Krinn, otherwise known as Magnetic Kid.

Former Magnoball champion Tull Vrajj

Another passenger, Sess Prakk, swooned while recounting her interaction with Quatro Lad, “On his way to the pilot’s chamber, he winked and pointed a finger at me. I nearly died! He’s so handsome!” Her boyfriend, Lam Thonn, however, wasn’t as complimentary, “That four-armed brute pushed me aside so he could flirt with my girlfriend. I think he bruised my shin. I should sue!”

Thanks to the timely intervention of the Legionnaires, the 220 passengers and 17 crew members were all returned to Braal uninjured, Lam Thonn’s bruised shin notwithstanding. The Faraday will undergo a complete evaluation before flying again.

 

Personalities

TRIBUTE TO PFLX RAMBO PLANNED ON VENTURA

by Vari Von Varx

As we approach the three-month anniversary of the tragic murder of Venturan casino owner Pflx Rambo, a star-studded tribute to the visionary businessman is being planned on Ventura. Rambo, who is still dead, was killed under mysterious circumstances, and his murderer was never captured. Speculation has ranged from the assassin being one of his 33 ex-wives to a rival casino owner with a grudge.

Pflx Rambo, still dead

Mona Climaxia, Rambo’s longtime “personal secretary” and new manager of the Golden Stardust Casino since his death, has a different theory—“I think he was killed because he was, you know, too good for this universe. The cosmos itself wanted him dead because it was, you know, jealous of his magnitudiousness. Is that a word?”

Mona Climaxia, still very much alive

Rumors have swirled for years about Pflx Rambo’s reported connection to organized crime on Ventura. Numerous United Planets Ethics Commission probes, however, never turned up any evidence of this, though it should be noted that each investigating commissioner retired soon after winning big at the Golden Stardust Casino.

The planned tribute to Pflx Rambo will last for the entire month of September, a non-stop party keeping with Ventura’s reputation as the galaxy’s premier entertainment planet. Scheduled guests include actors Craw Chaceford and Laylor Tautner, who will reenact their love scene from the award-winning holopic Dark Love live on stage; Tull Vrajj, former Braalian Magno Champion, who will hold a magnoball exhibition; the Ventura Sisters Donna and Etta, who will lecture on intergalactic macroeconomics while juggling 23 Rimborian megasharks; and Ghoran ambassadors Ochy Kare and Massi Knowl, who will recite arboreal haikus, reported to be Pflx Rambo’s favorite genre of poetry. Further guests will be announced as they’re confirmed.