Catbites retro - Sept 8 2996
ON this day in history some catbites from the far human past. When the printing press was new. At least we think we just found these in the archives and slapped todays date on them.
Sept 2006
- Our wayward heroes have been gone from Gateway two whole weeks now. Does this mean we have seen the end of Achilles and the Mediocrities? Or perhaps they have just gone on an Odyssey.
- After the tragic events of New Years Day in Metropolis the President has promised a full investigation into the Superhuman Program Everyman run by LuthorCorp. Lex, of course, was unavailable for comment. Maybe he is still cleaning up Lexcorp Plaza from human pizza stains.
- NEW tell all book! Come see the seedy inside view of Gateway's most famous D list super team. I was a sex slave for the Myrmidons and Loved it! By Dr Phil T. Ripod. Get an inside look at the sinster child sex ring run by Quantum Plumer. Witness the insatiable lust of Storm! Hear about the impotence problem of their Leader Achilles. And we can't even print a preview of what they say about Orichalcum!
AND NOW YOUR BONUS BITES!!! (Brought to you by your Legion GM Jim)
Black Cat Bites (8 September 2996)
Your old Black Cat pal is here to give you today’s magical news.
After a knock-down fight at the Tower of Fate in yours truly’s favorite neighborhood, Salem, the personified Elements Fire, Water, Air, and Earth have been defeated and removed from their hosts by our old friend Nabu. But the biggest surprise is that Aether has kept the body (a body? seems there are a couple running around) of everyone’s favorite green-flame wielder, Dynasty. Even better, the Aether-Dynasty combo has taken possession of the Helm of Nabu (or is it vice-versa?), forming the most powerful of mystical entities, a triad, surely a favorable portent for the magical community in this time of upcoming crisis.
The ongoing competition between Green and Red has taken a strange turn lately as the Champion of one has now converted to the other side. Thanks to the once and future god, worlds across the galaxy are being seeded Green, so Red has some catching up to do to maintain the balance. Speaking of seeding, is it only a matter of time until the new Red Champion discovers how much more pleasant it is to procreate the animal way rather than the plant way.
When magic and science combine, you don’t get some wonderful concoction that tastes better than both alone; you get a hybrid monstrosity that will eventually have to choose sides in the upcoming struggle. So just where will our new immortal power couple who’s straddling the line come down in the upcoming struggle? Word in the aether (though not Aether, to bring this back around) is that the savage caveman and the original green-flame powerhouse have come into possession of a certain artifact that might lead them to cross (get it?) firmly into the right camp.
And there you have it all the news fit to print for two millennium!! All in easily eatable bites
Aether/Nabu (Fate) knows we’re there for the Spear, which she says has been ripped in two. So she splits us into two teams to go after them before others get them. After argument between teams, Fate sends Achilles, Skid, and the two Quantums together, and Dynasty, Orichalcum, Rachel, and Reflecti-Kid.
The first team appears on a metal floor, which the Legionnaires recognize as a McCauley robotics lab where Per Degaton’s robots are being built. While sharing powers, Skid’s skin suddenly sloughs off, which is vacuumed up by a robot. Cat accesses a computer terminal to find an order for 40 robots for Per Degaton. She also finds we’re on a small planetoid responsible for manufacturing robots. She introduces a flaw to make the robots vulnerable.
We start following hallways to find the bay where the robots are to be delivered. We find a turboshaft to take us to the loading bay where robots are being moved. Leland McCauley is there with Per Degaton.
Dynasty, Rachel, Orachalcum, Reflect-Kid appear in an old-fashioned cityscape. It is dirty and grimy. Dynasty realizes they are on Tartarus. Dynasty starts fighting with team. Reflect-Kid makes mirror on ground to view the area, though Dynasty thinks it’s to look up skirts.
They are attacked by 6 mooks with weapons and obscure Legion villains Quicksand and Holdur. Dynasty provides back up while Rachael gets rid of the mooks, Orichalcum deals with Quicksand, and Reflecta Kid distorts Holdur senses as he tries to attack people. While Holdur is confused and unable to connect with anyone, none of our heroes are able to connect with Quicksand. Rachael moves to engage Holdur and punches him. But he stands there and takes it. Dynasty uses the green flame to disturb the inner ear of Quicksand. Quicksand is quickly incapacitated from extreme disorientation. Rachael and Orichalcum while Reflecti-Kid and Dynasty help hit Holdur hard. He is reeling from their attack. He retreats, leaving Quicksand behind. As he retreats he is blasted by Orichalcum and hits a chimney. He goes down.
A magical glow is in the tower of the Castle. Group moves that way under reflecta Kid cloak.
Back on the robot planetoid, Degaton is about to pay McCauley, and the heroes attack. Quantum Cat almost takes down Degaton, and Skid freezes him. Quantum Plumber tries to freeze McCauley, who turns out to be a hologram that activates the robots. Achilles tries to decapitate Degaton but he temporally fades away, revealing that this is our first encounter with him. He leaves behind a case that he was giving to McCauley, and Cat grabs it. A rift opens and something explodes, turning out our stomachs. Out of the rift comes the bottom half of the Spear, and we’re left powerless as the robots fire
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